Macie's swim team held a fundraiser last Friday called Swim a Lap. Each athlete was responsible for getting either flat donations or pledges for as many laps as he/she could swim. Macie collected donations for the most part, but did have a few committed pledges as well. We were out of town for the event so she swam her makeup session yesterday.
Leading up to it we talked about her pledges and how many laps she hoped to swim. She thought it would be awesome to reach a hundred. I tried to convince her that 40 laps was most reasonable at her level and with her pledges/donations she would do well if she reached that goal.
Well, my Macie NEVER settles for status quo. She takes on a challenge with full gusto and I love her for it. I have rarely seen her give up on anything. I have seen her not care about something and so therefore not give much to it. But if she cares at all, she's all in.
Now I'm just gonna brag on her because it's my blog and I can do that :).
When she started her first lap, she was motivated and ready to go. She didn't pace herself well and after the first 10 laps straight she was struggling. I thought she may not make it pass 20.
I'm not sure how many laps she did before changing strokes but it was a lot. The 2nd stroke was backstroke which is hard for her. You have to kick really strong and keep your head back or your lower body sinks. Well she was sinking on the first lap. Her legs were so tired at this point that her arms were doing all the work. She was in the 30's now with her lap count.
I realized that the other 2 swimmers that were doing their laps were moving faster than her. This means they were done and waiting for her to reach the end to start the next set. So, as soon as she would get to the end the other two would go and she would have to trail right behind them.
Essentially she was getting no breaks. I kid you not, the girl swam all her laps with only stopping to get the next instruction or to grab her kickboard for the next go. She amazed me.
So at the end, one swimmer finished and got out of the pool so I went to congratulate Macie and help her out. I asked the recorder of the laps how many she had done and he said 116. "Wow Macie, that's awesome!", I said. "I know you're exhausted. Hop on out and I'll help you get dry". She looked at me with this determined look on her face and asked if she had to be done. "What!?" I thought out aloud. She asked if she could go 4 more and make it to 120. And she did!
My girl swam 120 laps with barely a break!!! She is such an awesome kid!!
If you see her please congratulate her for her hard work and determination. Thanks!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 11, 2010
A Simple Reminder
This Christmas brings new excitement for us. Having four kids instead of two is four times the fun. I simply can not wait for Christmas morning!
This week starts the festivities for us as we begin the "Christmas rounds". First, dinner and gift exchange with my sis and her crew. Then, a weekend with all the Hudler's. This means lots of games, lots of kids, and lots of traditions. We look forward to it weeks/months ahead. Then my annual sleep over/Christmas dinner with all my girls (from SS). Then the Christmas Eve service at church. And, finally, Christmas day.
And between all that are Christmas crafts, Christmas baking, Christmas pictures, a little more Christmas shopping, and a whole lot of family time. Yay!
So, as you may be gathering, I'm very excited about the days to come. But, I have to stop for even just a moment and reorient myself to the reality of it. The reality is that once upon a time, a time when my name had yet to be spoken, I received a gift that would forever change my life. Before I made my first mistake, committed my first sin, or looked back with regret for the first of many times, the Savior I would so desperately need was sent for me.
Christ "became flesh and dwelt among us" so that years later you and I could spend a month or so being reminded and reminding others that there is a gift to be had and a gift to be given. The first is the gift of salvation found only in the Christ of "Christ"mas. The latter is the full surrender of you, and I.
Many people understand the necessity of accepting Christ for who He is. I want to challenge you, and myself, to be fully surrendered to Him. Enjoy this season, enjoy the gifts you give and receive, enjoy the good will and grace that is heightened in those around you. But don't forget as you bless so many others with your generosity to give God all you've got. Afterall, it is the reason for the season!
This week starts the festivities for us as we begin the "Christmas rounds". First, dinner and gift exchange with my sis and her crew. Then, a weekend with all the Hudler's. This means lots of games, lots of kids, and lots of traditions. We look forward to it weeks/months ahead. Then my annual sleep over/Christmas dinner with all my girls (from SS). Then the Christmas Eve service at church. And, finally, Christmas day.
And between all that are Christmas crafts, Christmas baking, Christmas pictures, a little more Christmas shopping, and a whole lot of family time. Yay!
So, as you may be gathering, I'm very excited about the days to come. But, I have to stop for even just a moment and reorient myself to the reality of it. The reality is that once upon a time, a time when my name had yet to be spoken, I received a gift that would forever change my life. Before I made my first mistake, committed my first sin, or looked back with regret for the first of many times, the Savior I would so desperately need was sent for me.
Christ "became flesh and dwelt among us" so that years later you and I could spend a month or so being reminded and reminding others that there is a gift to be had and a gift to be given. The first is the gift of salvation found only in the Christ of "Christ"mas. The latter is the full surrender of you, and I.
Many people understand the necessity of accepting Christ for who He is. I want to challenge you, and myself, to be fully surrendered to Him. Enjoy this season, enjoy the gifts you give and receive, enjoy the good will and grace that is heightened in those around you. But don't forget as you bless so many others with your generosity to give God all you've got. Afterall, it is the reason for the season!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
His unfolding plan
It has been a rocky road kind of journey over the past 7 weeks. We have experienced so many emotions. The trend seems to be that we hit a bump, have 2nd thoughts about our choice to foster, God smooths it out, and we're ready to move ahead. Lately, that pattern has been a daily event.
Even yesterday, my wonderful sitter had to cancel on me and I hung my head low knowing I was gonna have to miss Cody's bball game for the fact that the little ones would be getting home from visiting mom in middle of the game time. "I don't want to sacrifice anymore" went through my head.
Then my sweet friend who was on her way home from college calls to make a quick visit and seek a little advice. Well wouldn't you know she was free to sit for me and off to Cody's game I go. See, God's just good like that.
I know it sounds silly to complain about missing a game in order to be here for these little guys. The thing is there are so many sacrifices to be made to provide a solid stable home for children that several weeks before you never heard of. And some days they add up heavily as if they were all happening at once.
But when people start telling you how they can see a difference in the kids since they have been in our care, suddenly sacrifices fade to mild adjustments and a renewing occurs. Fostering is hard. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It requires much out every one in my home and yes, sometimes it's more than we can give. But God can do more than we can imagine or even hope for and He is faithful.
So, we continue the journey, focused on Him who calls and equips.
It is most likely that there will be a significant change come Jan. It is a good thing and we are pleased with the potential outcome. Yet, our heart longs for more than what's too come. We are pouring out all we can give and seeking God to refill us. We want so much more than what this placement can be and we both know our desires are from Him. So, we wait out this ride with great anticipation of His unfolding plan.
We appreciate your prayers :)
Even yesterday, my wonderful sitter had to cancel on me and I hung my head low knowing I was gonna have to miss Cody's bball game for the fact that the little ones would be getting home from visiting mom in middle of the game time. "I don't want to sacrifice anymore" went through my head.
Then my sweet friend who was on her way home from college calls to make a quick visit and seek a little advice. Well wouldn't you know she was free to sit for me and off to Cody's game I go. See, God's just good like that.
I know it sounds silly to complain about missing a game in order to be here for these little guys. The thing is there are so many sacrifices to be made to provide a solid stable home for children that several weeks before you never heard of. And some days they add up heavily as if they were all happening at once.
But when people start telling you how they can see a difference in the kids since they have been in our care, suddenly sacrifices fade to mild adjustments and a renewing occurs. Fostering is hard. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. It requires much out every one in my home and yes, sometimes it's more than we can give. But God can do more than we can imagine or even hope for and He is faithful.
So, we continue the journey, focused on Him who calls and equips.
It is most likely that there will be a significant change come Jan. It is a good thing and we are pleased with the potential outcome. Yet, our heart longs for more than what's too come. We are pouring out all we can give and seeking God to refill us. We want so much more than what this placement can be and we both know our desires are from Him. So, we wait out this ride with great anticipation of His unfolding plan.
We appreciate your prayers :)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
A little bit about what's next...
Well we weren't expecting these two little friends of ours to be around very long. But, as is proving to be true daily, fostering is the most unpredictable thing I've ever been a part of.
We will get to spend Christmas with them, which I'm thankful for. Having four children emptying their stockings in the den waiting on us to get ourselves together for the good stuff will be so much fun for me! Macie is particularly excited about shopping for them. That blesses me.
We still have challenges we are working through. Some days they are too heavy to bear, but God does what He's so good at, and equips us to persevere. He has clearly called us to serve 2 precious children and to tell them all about Him, their Creator. What an honor it is to have this role.
And it has reminded me of the two we were already blessed with and how great of a responsibility we have as parents to serve them and to lead them to Him.
Next court date is in early Jan. This could lead to a major change in the situation so we continue to need prayer. Thanks!
We will get to spend Christmas with them, which I'm thankful for. Having four children emptying their stockings in the den waiting on us to get ourselves together for the good stuff will be so much fun for me! Macie is particularly excited about shopping for them. That blesses me.
We still have challenges we are working through. Some days they are too heavy to bear, but God does what He's so good at, and equips us to persevere. He has clearly called us to serve 2 precious children and to tell them all about Him, their Creator. What an honor it is to have this role.
And it has reminded me of the two we were already blessed with and how great of a responsibility we have as parents to serve them and to lead them to Him.
Next court date is in early Jan. This could lead to a major change in the situation so we continue to need prayer. Thanks!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wondering what's next?
Big court date tomorrow. It may lead to a change in our status. We have very mixed emotions about it. Could use some prayer. Thanks!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
instant growth
Helloooooooo!
Long time no talk. Computer time has dropped on the priority list lately.
We have been fostering a sibling set of 2 for 3 weeks now. It's been a little crazy considering we doubled our kids and it happened in abt a 4 hour time period. Got the call at 5pm, had the kids at 9pm. It's really strange to wake up one morning with 2 kids and to wake up the next with 4 knowing you are now the parent to all of them.
It has been going very well. Some days are very stressful for me, especially Mondays because I have several responsibilites on that day. But, each day after that gets a little better and the weekends are great. The kids have family visitations 3 days a week and one of the 2 goes to public school. This has been a lot of adjustment for us. Taking a kid to school, doing the whole public school thing has been a very strange event for me as I have homeschooled since preschool years. So much of our life revolves around our homeschooling program and public school is the twilight zone for me.
Cody and Macie are doing so well with the situation. We have to make sure Cody still gets his alone time and that Macie doesn't over dominate. She has entered into full mommy mode. She cares for them, bathes them, puts them to bed, plays games with them, teaches them how to do things, etc. She also tries to be their disciplinarian and they can't figure out that she has any authority and she can't figure out why they don't obey her. That has been our biggest challenge: keeping her from being frustrated, and teaching them that she knows the rules and she is trying to help them follow them.
The best of all of this is that we have gotten a picture of what our family would look like with more kids around.....and we like it :). I love being a mom of 4. I love seeing 6 settings at the dinner table. I love four different voices calling me "mom". I love 4 wrestlers in the den Sat. mornings. I love knowing my 2 youngest are sound asleep in the their beds and my 2 oldest are curled up with us on the couch watching our family movie for the night. All is right with the world.
It has confirmed in us our desire to adopt and we are moving more actively towards making that happen.
At this point we don't have reason to believe that these little ones would be an option but we do feel strongly about adopting from the foster system so that's the trail we are chasing.
What we don't like about this current situation: we can't all fit in one car. Anyone have a van to give away????
So there's the update and obviously our prayer requests! Sorry no pics....not allowed. I will share that it is a boy and a girl, 3 and 5 respectively. And they are both precious!
Long time no talk. Computer time has dropped on the priority list lately.
We have been fostering a sibling set of 2 for 3 weeks now. It's been a little crazy considering we doubled our kids and it happened in abt a 4 hour time period. Got the call at 5pm, had the kids at 9pm. It's really strange to wake up one morning with 2 kids and to wake up the next with 4 knowing you are now the parent to all of them.
It has been going very well. Some days are very stressful for me, especially Mondays because I have several responsibilites on that day. But, each day after that gets a little better and the weekends are great. The kids have family visitations 3 days a week and one of the 2 goes to public school. This has been a lot of adjustment for us. Taking a kid to school, doing the whole public school thing has been a very strange event for me as I have homeschooled since preschool years. So much of our life revolves around our homeschooling program and public school is the twilight zone for me.
Cody and Macie are doing so well with the situation. We have to make sure Cody still gets his alone time and that Macie doesn't over dominate. She has entered into full mommy mode. She cares for them, bathes them, puts them to bed, plays games with them, teaches them how to do things, etc. She also tries to be their disciplinarian and they can't figure out that she has any authority and she can't figure out why they don't obey her. That has been our biggest challenge: keeping her from being frustrated, and teaching them that she knows the rules and she is trying to help them follow them.
The best of all of this is that we have gotten a picture of what our family would look like with more kids around.....and we like it :). I love being a mom of 4. I love seeing 6 settings at the dinner table. I love four different voices calling me "mom". I love 4 wrestlers in the den Sat. mornings. I love knowing my 2 youngest are sound asleep in the their beds and my 2 oldest are curled up with us on the couch watching our family movie for the night. All is right with the world.
It has confirmed in us our desire to adopt and we are moving more actively towards making that happen.
At this point we don't have reason to believe that these little ones would be an option but we do feel strongly about adopting from the foster system so that's the trail we are chasing.
What we don't like about this current situation: we can't all fit in one car. Anyone have a van to give away????
So there's the update and obviously our prayer requests! Sorry no pics....not allowed. I will share that it is a boy and a girl, 3 and 5 respectively. And they are both precious!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Psalm 27:13
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord.
Isn't that a beautiful statement? The word "unless" is such a strong direction change in the heart of the speaker here. "I would have despaired"......so many of us have felt despair in so many circumstances. We ache over things we long for. We fervently pray for the needs of others and ourselves. We wait. And sometimes we feel like we will wait forever.
We wait for finances to come, we wait for job opportunities, we wait for healing, we wait for salvation of loved ones, we wait for children. We all have something.
So be encouraged because the Lord is good. Do not despair. Believe that you WILL see the goodness of the Lord. If you believe it, you will see it.
Isn't that a beautiful statement? The word "unless" is such a strong direction change in the heart of the speaker here. "I would have despaired"......so many of us have felt despair in so many circumstances. We ache over things we long for. We fervently pray for the needs of others and ourselves. We wait. And sometimes we feel like we will wait forever.
We wait for finances to come, we wait for job opportunities, we wait for healing, we wait for salvation of loved ones, we wait for children. We all have something.
So be encouraged because the Lord is good. Do not despair. Believe that you WILL see the goodness of the Lord. If you believe it, you will see it.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
What's Up With the Hudler's
Since I entered the world of Facebook, I find myself posting small blips here and there, and neglecting my blog which is where I really get to share so much more about the Lord. I'm gonna try to redirect my attention back here so that hopefully you are drawn closer to Him.
He is so good and much more worthy of the attention facebook gets. Sorry, but it's true. It's my own realization.
This summer has been somewhat coo-coo for us. We have spent a lot of time with other people and not nearly enough time with each other. I love other people, especially those we have spent so much time with. We have made some great memories and relationships have grown. But, that has basically happened outside of my home. I'm sitting here this morning almost grieving the time I lost with my family this summer. Maybe it's because the time we have had at home, someone has been sick. Maybe it's because school is about to start and it feels like summer never happened for us.
Lesson learned: Summers are for breaks. Summers are for families to be rejuvenated. Summers are sabbath times especially for families. It only comes once a year and I need to be a better steward with it!
With school about to start, I'm excited about the time I am about to have with my baby's (who aren't babies anymore). School forces us to sit together, face to face, and talk, and think, and learn. I love the way homeschooling binds us together!!
With that in mind, I am getting very nervous about the fact that our foster license could be here any day. Am I ready for another child? Have I given my current children enough attention and love to set them up for this kind of change? Have I prepared myself enough to be mom all over again? Oh...I need to stop thinking about it. Lord, prepare the way.
Good news about all the crazy summer happenings: My students are amazing!
It may not be news to you, but its truth. My Sunday school class is out of this world! Why God gave me this group, I'll never know. I don't deserve them, but gosh how I love them! And they are only in 9th grade! Four years ahead of us.....I don't know that my heart can take it :).
And we are starting this year with a new team. Can't wait to see what God is gonna do!
Other things in our lives right now include seeking mission opportunities as a family. My heart is heavy for Kenya. If I had my way a trip for next year would already be planned for and paid for. However, I think God may be working out other things. I'm okay with that, His will is my only option. But I wish I knew what He had in store for us. Don't we all!
He has done one thing for sure: my heart is wrapped around the homeless people of America.
There really is no excuse for anyone to be homeless in this country. I know it is true of some people, that they have made bad choices and they are reaping the consequences of their sin. But, I feel in my heart that this scenario is not the case for so many who are in need. I'm praying for God to move mightily in the hearts of Americans and to cause them to see others from His perspective. I'm praying for the redemption of His people, salvation for those who are lost spiritually and physically. This is what He is doing in my heart.
So, you may occasionally see posts on how our family is serving. We are about to get very intentional on acting out our faith. I hope to do the same with my ss class.
By the way, if you haven't read Radical, do so soon!!!
He is so good and much more worthy of the attention facebook gets. Sorry, but it's true. It's my own realization.
This summer has been somewhat coo-coo for us. We have spent a lot of time with other people and not nearly enough time with each other. I love other people, especially those we have spent so much time with. We have made some great memories and relationships have grown. But, that has basically happened outside of my home. I'm sitting here this morning almost grieving the time I lost with my family this summer. Maybe it's because the time we have had at home, someone has been sick. Maybe it's because school is about to start and it feels like summer never happened for us.
Lesson learned: Summers are for breaks. Summers are for families to be rejuvenated. Summers are sabbath times especially for families. It only comes once a year and I need to be a better steward with it!
With school about to start, I'm excited about the time I am about to have with my baby's (who aren't babies anymore). School forces us to sit together, face to face, and talk, and think, and learn. I love the way homeschooling binds us together!!
With that in mind, I am getting very nervous about the fact that our foster license could be here any day. Am I ready for another child? Have I given my current children enough attention and love to set them up for this kind of change? Have I prepared myself enough to be mom all over again? Oh...I need to stop thinking about it. Lord, prepare the way.
Good news about all the crazy summer happenings: My students are amazing!
It may not be news to you, but its truth. My Sunday school class is out of this world! Why God gave me this group, I'll never know. I don't deserve them, but gosh how I love them! And they are only in 9th grade! Four years ahead of us.....I don't know that my heart can take it :).
And we are starting this year with a new team. Can't wait to see what God is gonna do!
Other things in our lives right now include seeking mission opportunities as a family. My heart is heavy for Kenya. If I had my way a trip for next year would already be planned for and paid for. However, I think God may be working out other things. I'm okay with that, His will is my only option. But I wish I knew what He had in store for us. Don't we all!
He has done one thing for sure: my heart is wrapped around the homeless people of America.
There really is no excuse for anyone to be homeless in this country. I know it is true of some people, that they have made bad choices and they are reaping the consequences of their sin. But, I feel in my heart that this scenario is not the case for so many who are in need. I'm praying for God to move mightily in the hearts of Americans and to cause them to see others from His perspective. I'm praying for the redemption of His people, salvation for those who are lost spiritually and physically. This is what He is doing in my heart.
So, you may occasionally see posts on how our family is serving. We are about to get very intentional on acting out our faith. I hope to do the same with my ss class.
By the way, if you haven't read Radical, do so soon!!!
Friday, July 23, 2010
my baby's birthday--he's not a little kid anymore
Cody turned 11 years old today! Oh my! Has it really been 11 years since I gave birth to this sweet child?? I know that I could not be any prouder of who he is becoming. I could not ask for more out of a son than the joy he brings us.
Cody is an awesome big brother. He cares about Macie more than he would like to admit. Even in times when she drives him crazy he needs to know she's OK. Since her time in the hospital, he regularly checks in with me on her condition before going to sleep at night. (night time was the worse during her illness).
He is a little man of character. Even now as he enters those highly anticipated adolescent years he is still unnerved by unrighteousness in others. I pray that this quality in him will grow stronger and stronger as temptations get harder and harder.
He is such a great example to others. Today during our music camp at church, a couple of the leaders surprised him with a "happy birthday" pie in the face. It was in front of over 100 people and he just smiled. He really did take it like a man especially considering he never knew it was coming! I was so proud of his maturity.
He is such a blessing to us and to others. I thank the Lord for this boy!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
A Bright Future
Brannon went home yesterday! He is eating, pooping, and recovering. He still has a long road with challenges ahead, but God has heard our cries for this sweet boy.
His condition is no longer urgent but please continue to pray for his health and restoration when the Lord brings him to your mind.
We are so very grateful for the way we have seen God so real to us. He is amazing!
Please, also, remember my sister as she faces a new trial this coming week (as I previously mentioned in post)
Thanks again friends!
His condition is no longer urgent but please continue to pray for his health and restoration when the Lord brings him to your mind.
We are so very grateful for the way we have seen God so real to us. He is amazing!
Please, also, remember my sister as she faces a new trial this coming week (as I previously mentioned in post)
Thanks again friends!
Friday, June 18, 2010
Today is a great day.....He shall be praised!
Brannon is on a full diet. We are about to head up to hospital to eat lunch with him. Not sit outside his room secretly eating. No. We will sit at his bedside and eat together. Praise the Lord!! He has nothing hooked up to him except when he needs a scheduled iv med. He spent 3 hours on the rooftop playing Nerf wars with friends who visited him yesterday. God is restoring him and I could not be more grateful than I am right now.
To the glory of the God, the One who is worthy of our praise!!
To the glory of the God, the One who is worthy of our praise!!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Praises!
Brannon has turned the corner! Yesterday he had 5 bowel movements. Yes, I said 5!! The bowels are working and the stomach is improving. As of yesterday evening the plan was to turn off the tube draining his stomach and keep it off through the night. If he tolerated that ok, this morning he would get the tube out and start receiving clear liquids. Praise the Lord, The Great Physician!
I haven't spoken with my sis this morning so I don't know how the night went. I'm just so pleased about his progress that I had to share it.
Please continue to pray for his healing. He hasn't eaten in like 12 days I think. It will be a slow process and his stomach may not be ready to handle much. Pray that if the NG tube gets pulled it, it stays out. It would be horrible to have to put it back in.
On another note:
My sister is facing a new challenge, personal. It is an extremely heavy burden, and in my opinion a very unjust situation. She has been through so much caring for Brannon and all the other loads she bears. I'm praying that God would be her advocate and "help in time of trouble".
Thanks for all your prayers for my family.
I haven't spoken with my sis this morning so I don't know how the night went. I'm just so pleased about his progress that I had to share it.
Please continue to pray for his healing. He hasn't eaten in like 12 days I think. It will be a slow process and his stomach may not be ready to handle much. Pray that if the NG tube gets pulled it, it stays out. It would be horrible to have to put it back in.
On another note:
My sister is facing a new challenge, personal. It is an extremely heavy burden, and in my opinion a very unjust situation. She has been through so much caring for Brannon and all the other loads she bears. I'm praying that God would be her advocate and "help in time of trouble".
Thanks for all your prayers for my family.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Set Backs
Well yesterday started out a glorious day. Brannon's bowels worked a bit. We were on such a high from such a clearly answered prayer. But the rest of the day was downhill from that. He started having severe cramping and vomiting. He was sick all night.
His bowels are showing progress. His stomach is not. It's not working at all really. It doesn't contract the way it should so nothing moves through. This is why he STILL has a tube in his nose to his tummy removing all liquids naturally made by the body (stomach). The drainage is a lot. He hasn't eaten in 9 days.
Today he had a PICC line placed to start receiving nutrition through it. They also took out NG tube and replaced it with a new one that will hopefully be more comfortable. The old one has caused sores in his nasal passages. The tape holding the tube to his cheek caused blisters on his face.
Please pray for a big turn around for him. He is suffering and it is very hard to accept especially when no one seems to have answers. This is very frustrating. It is quite a spiritual journey for me as I seek the Lord's intervention and wait. I find myself before the throne with such frustration in my heart. Yet, I know it is God Almighty who controls all things and is sovereign over all and we are desperate for Him.
I can't say my faith isn't shaken as I look upon my sweet nephew in a hospital bed suffering with no answers knowing I have spent days begging God to change this situation. It isn't a matter of unbelief. I believe He can do anything He desires and that He is as real as ever and that He hears every cry. I'm shaken over not getting my way. I'm frustrated b/c I can't change it myself and because so far God has not answered my demands.
Now, why I thought I could demand anything from God is beside me. He owes me nothing. I owe Him everything. But, how I long to see Him move in such a mighty way that no one in my family can deny its Him. I want His glory to be revealed through the healing miracle of His touch. Please continue to pray along with me.
His bowels are showing progress. His stomach is not. It's not working at all really. It doesn't contract the way it should so nothing moves through. This is why he STILL has a tube in his nose to his tummy removing all liquids naturally made by the body (stomach). The drainage is a lot. He hasn't eaten in 9 days.
Today he had a PICC line placed to start receiving nutrition through it. They also took out NG tube and replaced it with a new one that will hopefully be more comfortable. The old one has caused sores in his nasal passages. The tape holding the tube to his cheek caused blisters on his face.
Please pray for a big turn around for him. He is suffering and it is very hard to accept especially when no one seems to have answers. This is very frustrating. It is quite a spiritual journey for me as I seek the Lord's intervention and wait. I find myself before the throne with such frustration in my heart. Yet, I know it is God Almighty who controls all things and is sovereign over all and we are desperate for Him.
I can't say my faith isn't shaken as I look upon my sweet nephew in a hospital bed suffering with no answers knowing I have spent days begging God to change this situation. It isn't a matter of unbelief. I believe He can do anything He desires and that He is as real as ever and that He hears every cry. I'm shaken over not getting my way. I'm frustrated b/c I can't change it myself and because so far God has not answered my demands.
Now, why I thought I could demand anything from God is beside me. He owes me nothing. I owe Him everything. But, how I long to see Him move in such a mighty way that no one in my family can deny its Him. I want His glory to be revealed through the healing miracle of His touch. Please continue to pray along with me.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Spent the day with Brannon
We have been with Brannon the whole day and it was a great day. He played Battleship with Cody, put Lego's together, walked the hall and even laughed with us some. His spirits were good which they almost always are when he is with Cody. And here comes the "but".
But, he really needs prayer because he really needs healing. Only God can cause his body to do what it was originally created to do. Only God knows what the problem is and so only He can fix it. So please go to the throne on Brannon's behalf. Brannon's stomach is not contracting the way it should and his bowels are not moving any yet. To put it bluntly we need him to pass some serious gas. And we need the yucky stomach juices to stop filling up the canister on the wall. These things have to happen before the tube can come out of his nose and before he can have anything at all to eat or drink.
Those things also have to happen before we can really consider the surgery a success. If the bowel doesn't kick in, he is back to square one. That's a hard pill to swallow. So, please don't stop praying. Thank you so much.
But, he really needs prayer because he really needs healing. Only God can cause his body to do what it was originally created to do. Only God knows what the problem is and so only He can fix it. So please go to the throne on Brannon's behalf. Brannon's stomach is not contracting the way it should and his bowels are not moving any yet. To put it bluntly we need him to pass some serious gas. And we need the yucky stomach juices to stop filling up the canister on the wall. These things have to happen before the tube can come out of his nose and before he can have anything at all to eat or drink.
Those things also have to happen before we can really consider the surgery a success. If the bowel doesn't kick in, he is back to square one. That's a hard pill to swallow. So, please don't stop praying. Thank you so much.
More prayer needed
Brannon has made some progress in terms of recovering from surgery. He walked this morning and is up in the chair.
However, his stomach is not moving fluids through as it should. He as a tube in his nose that goes down to stomach and withdraws fluid from it. It should be decreasing in amount from the very start of post surgery. Instead it is increasing. This is not a good sign.
Please pray for God to do what only he can. Specifically the stomach needs to kick into gear and start moving fluids downward into the intestines. This would be a huge success. When the stomach works the tube can come out and he can start to eat again. Without ingesting food the colon doesn't have a chance to learn how to work again. And in case you are wondering, he hasn't eaten since the weekend.
Thanks for your prayers.
However, his stomach is not moving fluids through as it should. He as a tube in his nose that goes down to stomach and withdraws fluid from it. It should be decreasing in amount from the very start of post surgery. Instead it is increasing. This is not a good sign.
Please pray for God to do what only he can. Specifically the stomach needs to kick into gear and start moving fluids downward into the intestines. This would be a huge success. When the stomach works the tube can come out and he can start to eat again. Without ingesting food the colon doesn't have a chance to learn how to work again. And in case you are wondering, he hasn't eaten since the weekend.
Thanks for your prayers.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Update on Brannon
The surgery went well. He has a large incision vertical on his abdomen and a small area where the stoma was. He is in a lot of pain and sheer exhausted. We spent about 3 hours with him today and he never spoke a word. However, it was obvious that he was happy to have Cody sitting right beside him.
Please continue to pray for his healing, no infection and for a fully restored digestive system.
Thank you!
Please continue to pray for his healing, no infection and for a fully restored digestive system.
Thank you!
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Prayer Request
My nephew Brannon is in surgery right now having the ostomy reversed.
Please pray for several things: that the surgery is free of complications, that the colon responds well, and that the digestive system is restored completely.
If the colon is unable to work effectively, he will be facing serious complications. Only time will tell.
On another note: my stepdad Ron starts radiation tomorrow for prostate cancer. The prostate has already been removed but there is residual cancer in the same area and it is highly aggressive. He will have treatments every day through the end of July.
This is a heavy time for my extended family. Please specifically pray for my mom, the wife and grandmother to these two as she carries these burdens.
Thanks!!
Please pray for several things: that the surgery is free of complications, that the colon responds well, and that the digestive system is restored completely.
If the colon is unable to work effectively, he will be facing serious complications. Only time will tell.
On another note: my stepdad Ron starts radiation tomorrow for prostate cancer. The prostate has already been removed but there is residual cancer in the same area and it is highly aggressive. He will have treatments every day through the end of July.
This is a heavy time for my extended family. Please specifically pray for my mom, the wife and grandmother to these two as she carries these burdens.
Thanks!!
Friday, June 4, 2010
2 lunches, only one home
Have you seen those men, and sometimes women, who stand on a street corner with a sign declaring homelessness? I passed one yesterday.
Let me back up a bit.
Ever since Jeff and I were married the idea of people living on the streets with no shelter to call their own has been a burden to me. Many nights in the winter I fall asleep thinking of all those who are sleeping in bitter cold weather as I lay under my heating blanket on a soft mattress in my safe bedroom. And it has always unsettled me. I've wondered why God has allowed me to have my needs met in abundance while others are suffering greatly in ways I've never known or come close to knowing. I've thought about how so many Americans have all they need plus more than they need while other Americans have nothing but a sign declaring so. How can this be?
As my regular readers know, God has been teaching me much on the topic of those in need. He has been teaching me so much that I'm overwhelmed not knowing what to do with the information. My heart is changing, being changed by Him almost constantly, but I feel lost in the translation.
We have started to make practical changes in our finances so that we can do for others. This has not been easy since we do not have a surplus of finances. And it is very small steps as we ourselves work towards a debt free life. But so much is going on in my heart that a few financial changes only taps the surface of burdens I am feeling over those in need. So I'm asking God to open doors and to show me how to put into action the convictions He has given me.
Yesterday was one such opportunity.
It has been a rough week in the context of parenting. Our family has struggled for some months now with disobedience and anger. We have been in quite a slump. God has been working overtime in the Hudler home :). So yesterday as some things sorta came to a head my amazing husband decided it was time for me to have a small break.
I needed a journal type of book to help organize my prayer life and to be more diligent with memorizing scripture. This is one thing God has been showing me concerning the way things are done in my home. So off to Lifeway I went. Now, truly I could have made one myself, or just jumped over to Walmart which would have knocked an hour off the time. But, no, I had to go to Lifeway. Well guess who was on the corner at the light leading to Lifeway? Mr. Homeless.
I didn't see him at first. I was hungry for lunch but not ready to eat yet so I decided to go into store and get lunch afterwards. I didn't find what I was looking for except a basic journaling book (one which I could have gotten at Walmart). So, with plans to head to office store I decided to grab lunch first. And there he was at the light. NO doubt in my mind I was to buy two lunches that day.
I rolled down the window, and said a few things. "I got you something to eat and I want you to know that God loves you and He has not forgotten about you", I said. The man's face lit with joy. I drove off so broken I had to stop because I couldn't see to drive. Why was I broken? I mean I was able to feed the man. God had given me an opportunity to put into action what has been on my heart begging to come out as reality. I was broken because I couldn't do more. He may have had a full belly for lunch but he still had nowhere to lay his hand. He would still spend the day under a tree at a stoplight with a sign while I shopped, headed home to ac, a well cut yard, kids playing in the water with friends, and food for dinner. I would sit at the table and play rummikub with my family. I would take pics of my growing garden to send to my grandparents in pride. I would rock on my back porch, Bible in hand, and the peace of God in my heart. And he still stood on the corner.
Something has got to change. I can't force others to have the same convictions as I. I can't make you turn off your tvs and send that money overseas so nationals can buy themselves a bike to travel miles into villages to proclaim Christ. I can't force you to shop at Aldi's to practically cut your grocery bill in half so you can send that extra money to organizations attempting to purify water so people can drink without fear of dying.
I can't persuade you to live any differently than you do now. But I can change. And I plan to.
Let me back up a bit.
Ever since Jeff and I were married the idea of people living on the streets with no shelter to call their own has been a burden to me. Many nights in the winter I fall asleep thinking of all those who are sleeping in bitter cold weather as I lay under my heating blanket on a soft mattress in my safe bedroom. And it has always unsettled me. I've wondered why God has allowed me to have my needs met in abundance while others are suffering greatly in ways I've never known or come close to knowing. I've thought about how so many Americans have all they need plus more than they need while other Americans have nothing but a sign declaring so. How can this be?
As my regular readers know, God has been teaching me much on the topic of those in need. He has been teaching me so much that I'm overwhelmed not knowing what to do with the information. My heart is changing, being changed by Him almost constantly, but I feel lost in the translation.
We have started to make practical changes in our finances so that we can do for others. This has not been easy since we do not have a surplus of finances. And it is very small steps as we ourselves work towards a debt free life. But so much is going on in my heart that a few financial changes only taps the surface of burdens I am feeling over those in need. So I'm asking God to open doors and to show me how to put into action the convictions He has given me.
Yesterday was one such opportunity.
It has been a rough week in the context of parenting. Our family has struggled for some months now with disobedience and anger. We have been in quite a slump. God has been working overtime in the Hudler home :). So yesterday as some things sorta came to a head my amazing husband decided it was time for me to have a small break.
I needed a journal type of book to help organize my prayer life and to be more diligent with memorizing scripture. This is one thing God has been showing me concerning the way things are done in my home. So off to Lifeway I went. Now, truly I could have made one myself, or just jumped over to Walmart which would have knocked an hour off the time. But, no, I had to go to Lifeway. Well guess who was on the corner at the light leading to Lifeway? Mr. Homeless.
I didn't see him at first. I was hungry for lunch but not ready to eat yet so I decided to go into store and get lunch afterwards. I didn't find what I was looking for except a basic journaling book (one which I could have gotten at Walmart). So, with plans to head to office store I decided to grab lunch first. And there he was at the light. NO doubt in my mind I was to buy two lunches that day.
I rolled down the window, and said a few things. "I got you something to eat and I want you to know that God loves you and He has not forgotten about you", I said. The man's face lit with joy. I drove off so broken I had to stop because I couldn't see to drive. Why was I broken? I mean I was able to feed the man. God had given me an opportunity to put into action what has been on my heart begging to come out as reality. I was broken because I couldn't do more. He may have had a full belly for lunch but he still had nowhere to lay his hand. He would still spend the day under a tree at a stoplight with a sign while I shopped, headed home to ac, a well cut yard, kids playing in the water with friends, and food for dinner. I would sit at the table and play rummikub with my family. I would take pics of my growing garden to send to my grandparents in pride. I would rock on my back porch, Bible in hand, and the peace of God in my heart. And he still stood on the corner.
Something has got to change. I can't force others to have the same convictions as I. I can't make you turn off your tvs and send that money overseas so nationals can buy themselves a bike to travel miles into villages to proclaim Christ. I can't force you to shop at Aldi's to practically cut your grocery bill in half so you can send that extra money to organizations attempting to purify water so people can drink without fear of dying.
I can't persuade you to live any differently than you do now. But I can change. And I plan to.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Radical-Self Abandonment
I have been reading Radical by David Platt (thanks to my friend Wendi and the Lord for blessing me). Before this I was reading Revolution in Missions by KP Yohanan. Before this my heart was stirring for missions related ideas. Actually God has been working on my heart in terms of missions for about 4 years now. It started in Spartanburg and was fueled intensely once arriving to Thomasville. Our church is heavily involved in mission work around the world. We have friends that are missionaries in Kenya and I went on my first overseas mission trip last summer to Romania. These are very minor details compared to all that God is doing in my heart. He has worked more there than I have even been able to notice. However, I'm seeing more and more what He has been up to. I feel a radical change happening in me.
There have been many ways that I have felt like a radical person, one who does things different than the world would expect or accept. But, as God has been slowly revealing to me (thank goodness for His patience) the truths of His word I am now realizing that there's not much radical living in our lives afterall. Sure, I homeschool, which automatically labels me as odd, abnormal, and cultish (not sure that's a word). I do not work though I have a degree as an RN.
I actually enjoy my kids and my husband more than anyone else on the earth and I rarely want to be away from any of them. And I have a group of middle school students that I have been with for 3 years, plan to be with for 4 more, and I couldn't be happier about that. And now my family is waiting for our fostering license.
We have made choices based on what we think pleases God and we have felt radical at times. Now I know we have missed the mark. Scripture describes an abandoned life. A follower of Christ is one who "denies himself, picks up his cross, and follows Christ". "Follows Christ" doesn't mean you go where He went or serve like He served. It means you experience what He experienced: self abandonment for the sake of others, to save them.
One of the things that I have been trying to teach my students is that there are great needs out there and they are capable of meeting some of those needs. I want them to want to serve others. We have talked a lot about the injustices of the world and how they can make a difference if they follow Christ's example. Then I had quite a revelation from all that God has been showing me. My lack of self abandonment causes others to suffer and that is truly injustice. There is so much more that I could do if I abandoned my own self sufficiency. It's not about what we can do with what we have. It's about what we can do when we don't have. The less I have the more I can give.
If I don't pay $30/month for cable than I can give $30/month for people to have clean water. Clean water friends.....is that too much for a person to ask?
If I don't spend money on extra clothes to increase my wardrobe, I can send that money to national missionaries who are desperately trying to reach their own people for Christ.
If I choose to have beans and rice as a meal (which happens to be delicious with some cheese and sour cream) instead of eating out, than that extra $15-$25 can help support our friends serving in Kenya as they teach the locals how to prosper for themselves with their chicken farm. Or maybe that $20 or so will help the street boys who are in bondage to addictions and homeless at 9 years old (younger than my son Cody) to find food and a home, and to find a Savior who will free them in every way.
The less I have, the more I can give. Americans are surrounded with abundance. Compared to what is happening in 3rd world countries I am more and more saddened by our own state of well being. It is not that I wish to suffer or that I think Americans should suffer the way others do. However, I do believe that we are blessed for a reason and we are missing the point. We have so that we can give. It's called stewardship and we are called to be great stewards. We are failing. God has given to us so that we can give to them. Yet, as a nation, and typically as individuals we are in debt. We are hurting ourselves in our over-sufficiency, and we are hurting others who have no other way. That is the injustice that I'm so unsettled about.
And it's not just 3rd world countries who are hurting, it's our neighbor. When our church held an event called "Hope Lives" we saw how many people in our own area were in great need. When God talks about helping and reaching the nations He isn't speaking about geographical boundaries that man, and government, has set. He is speaking about people groups. He is saying that we need to reach anyone who has a need. What I'm realizing is that I'm too busy meeting my own needs to meet others. God is showing me that I'm missing the point. Self abandonment. That's what He is calling me to. Sounds radical huh?
Was Christ anything but radical? No. Have you ever heard of anything more radical than the cross? And scripture tells me that if I am to call myself a follower I must deny myself and take up my cross and follow Him. Radical.
I pray that He shows this to us all. And I pray that I obey.
There have been many ways that I have felt like a radical person, one who does things different than the world would expect or accept. But, as God has been slowly revealing to me (thank goodness for His patience) the truths of His word I am now realizing that there's not much radical living in our lives afterall. Sure, I homeschool, which automatically labels me as odd, abnormal, and cultish (not sure that's a word). I do not work though I have a degree as an RN.
I actually enjoy my kids and my husband more than anyone else on the earth and I rarely want to be away from any of them. And I have a group of middle school students that I have been with for 3 years, plan to be with for 4 more, and I couldn't be happier about that. And now my family is waiting for our fostering license.
We have made choices based on what we think pleases God and we have felt radical at times. Now I know we have missed the mark. Scripture describes an abandoned life. A follower of Christ is one who "denies himself, picks up his cross, and follows Christ". "Follows Christ" doesn't mean you go where He went or serve like He served. It means you experience what He experienced: self abandonment for the sake of others, to save them.
One of the things that I have been trying to teach my students is that there are great needs out there and they are capable of meeting some of those needs. I want them to want to serve others. We have talked a lot about the injustices of the world and how they can make a difference if they follow Christ's example. Then I had quite a revelation from all that God has been showing me. My lack of self abandonment causes others to suffer and that is truly injustice. There is so much more that I could do if I abandoned my own self sufficiency. It's not about what we can do with what we have. It's about what we can do when we don't have. The less I have the more I can give.
If I don't pay $30/month for cable than I can give $30/month for people to have clean water. Clean water friends.....is that too much for a person to ask?
If I don't spend money on extra clothes to increase my wardrobe, I can send that money to national missionaries who are desperately trying to reach their own people for Christ.
If I choose to have beans and rice as a meal (which happens to be delicious with some cheese and sour cream) instead of eating out, than that extra $15-$25 can help support our friends serving in Kenya as they teach the locals how to prosper for themselves with their chicken farm. Or maybe that $20 or so will help the street boys who are in bondage to addictions and homeless at 9 years old (younger than my son Cody) to find food and a home, and to find a Savior who will free them in every way.
The less I have, the more I can give. Americans are surrounded with abundance. Compared to what is happening in 3rd world countries I am more and more saddened by our own state of well being. It is not that I wish to suffer or that I think Americans should suffer the way others do. However, I do believe that we are blessed for a reason and we are missing the point. We have so that we can give. It's called stewardship and we are called to be great stewards. We are failing. God has given to us so that we can give to them. Yet, as a nation, and typically as individuals we are in debt. We are hurting ourselves in our over-sufficiency, and we are hurting others who have no other way. That is the injustice that I'm so unsettled about.
And it's not just 3rd world countries who are hurting, it's our neighbor. When our church held an event called "Hope Lives" we saw how many people in our own area were in great need. When God talks about helping and reaching the nations He isn't speaking about geographical boundaries that man, and government, has set. He is speaking about people groups. He is saying that we need to reach anyone who has a need. What I'm realizing is that I'm too busy meeting my own needs to meet others. God is showing me that I'm missing the point. Self abandonment. That's what He is calling me to. Sounds radical huh?
Was Christ anything but radical? No. Have you ever heard of anything more radical than the cross? And scripture tells me that if I am to call myself a follower I must deny myself and take up my cross and follow Him. Radical.
I pray that He shows this to us all. And I pray that I obey.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Gardens
As my lovely friend Wendi put it, we are expecting! Corn that is. Well also, okra, green beans, zucchini, yellow squash, tomatoes, and red peppers. .JPG)
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This is our first garden. I grew up around gardens and have always wanted one. Our wonderful neighbors (who are like built-in grandparents that came with the house) helped us get one started. We are enjoying watching what was once a few seeds become a harvest.
I'm reminded how scripture teaches us about the harvest in the world. So many people are ready to hear the gospel, yearning to know about the freedom found in Christ.
I'm anxious to see how much I get from this garden. I can't wait to see what our work in this garden produces.
I wonder how much God desires to see the fruit of His labor. I wonder how strongly He anticipates those who will call on Him. I wonder if we, as workers of His garden, are doing enough. Actually I know we aren't because I know I'm not.
Every time I look at the garden I'm reminded that there are more precious seeds to be planted. There is a lot of work to do. Hope I don't miss the opportunities God gives to work in His garden!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Happy Birthday MayMay
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Macie is now 9 years old today. I love this picture because it is so true of her: she is a princess of the King and she is our monkey!! We thank God for her life, her energy, her inquisitive nature, her adventurous soul, and her compassion for those in need. She is a true blessing to this world! Happy Birthday MayMay!! We love you!
Thursday, May 6, 2010
The Joy of Childhood
I love watching my kids enjoying life. It is such a comfort to see my children just being kids and having fun. There are so many yucky things out there. There is so much heartache. So, I'm very grateful for these moments below.
Cody....'Jedi Master'
Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3
Macie is loving her new position as a swimteam member
Working those legs
Learning:
Backyard water fun:
Love moments like these! They had just crashed!
The sweetest boy I've ever met!
She totally cracked herself up
Oh how I give thanks for this:
Cody....'Jedi Master'
Scene 1
Scene 2
Scene 3Macie is loving her new position as a swimteam member
Working those legs
Learning:
Backyard water fun:
Love moments like these! They had just crashed!
The sweetest boy I've ever met!
She totally cracked herself up
Oh how I give thanks for this:
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Any Ideas?
Hi Friends,
So, many of you know that we have a repeat offender in our home. One who struggles quite a bit with consistent obedience, uuuuummmm, or just obedience period. This special child needs some creative parenting.
So, I'm asking for ideas that you may have which have helped you train/discipline your child. Maybe it is something you heard through church, Focus on the Family, friends. Please nothing traditional----we've been there and done that. I need creative and productive.
We are working on a new system for our home, one which will bring glory to God, and direct each of us to Him.
Any ideas you have would be greatly appreciated.
Even if you don't have children, but you know of something someone does that is effective or you know of something your parents do that really has an effect on you, please share.
Thank you!!
So, many of you know that we have a repeat offender in our home. One who struggles quite a bit with consistent obedience, uuuuummmm, or just obedience period. This special child needs some creative parenting.
So, I'm asking for ideas that you may have which have helped you train/discipline your child. Maybe it is something you heard through church, Focus on the Family, friends. Please nothing traditional----we've been there and done that. I need creative and productive.
We are working on a new system for our home, one which will bring glory to God, and direct each of us to Him.
Any ideas you have would be greatly appreciated.
Even if you don't have children, but you know of something someone does that is effective or you know of something your parents do that really has an effect on you, please share.
Thank you!!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Tidbits
So, as you can see, I am working on revamping my blog. I don't know if "revamping" is actually a word, but you know what I mean. Sorry for all the chaos it causes, but isn't it prettier :)!
I don't have much to say in this post, but I did want to mention I'm trying to jump the bandwagon of runners in the world. And it ain't easy. My abdomen screams at me in the form of a burning cramp. Anyone know how to NOT get that cramp?
At this point, I'm making it about 30 yards at a time, then I'm back to walking. Pitiful, I know. But it's a start!
Last thought: Macie had her last check up at the Hospital from the meningitis saga. She is back to normal, all symptoms of the disease are gone! We continue to praise God for her healing, knowing things could be so different.
If you have time, click on the button for Chrissie on the right-hand side. Read a little and pray a lot for her. God is doing miracles in her life and it is quite a story.
I don't have much to say in this post, but I did want to mention I'm trying to jump the bandwagon of runners in the world. And it ain't easy. My abdomen screams at me in the form of a burning cramp. Anyone know how to NOT get that cramp?
At this point, I'm making it about 30 yards at a time, then I'm back to walking. Pitiful, I know. But it's a start!
Last thought: Macie had her last check up at the Hospital from the meningitis saga. She is back to normal, all symptoms of the disease are gone! We continue to praise God for her healing, knowing things could be so different.
If you have time, click on the button for Chrissie on the right-hand side. Read a little and pray a lot for her. God is doing miracles in her life and it is quite a story.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Pursuit of Purpose
Advice from Kay Arthur for when someone is starting in ministry:
"Don't seek a ministry, seek God. As you seek God, before the foundation of the world, God chose you in Christ (Eph 1:3). You are His workmanship (Eph 2:10), in Christ Jesus unto good works that God has ordained for you to walk in. So discovering my ministry should not be the goal of my life -- but discovering my God should"
As I am learning what my life should look like from His perspective, I find myself searching how to worship Him with things I do. I keep trying to choose behaviors that prove my loyalty. I think, "How much more can I do with my students?" or "How much more can I do in the church to show my allegiance to Him?" I want God to see me worshipping Him as I do and do and do.
But what Kay's comment makes me realize is that God wants my allegiance, period. He wants me to search Him, to pursue Him, to become like Him. Wouldn't that be the ultimate way of worshipping Him.....to be like Him?
I think God has "a ministry" planned for every believer. But, I think it happens as a result of pursuing Him. It will happen naturally as we are molded in His likeness. Jesus just lived who He was and it served a world. But He didn't come to start a ministry or to accomplish certain deeds. He just came and lived as the Son of God. His accomplishments were a result of who He was and is, not what He did. I'm NOT saying the cross was in vain. I'm saying He went to the cross because of His love for us and His obedience to the Father. The cross was the natural result of the Father's love for us, in order to redeem us. Jesus followed His Father's path, which led Him to the cross, and then to a glorious resurrection. And because of that, we are redeemed!
If I live in obedience to Him, the world around me will be served. I will be accomplishing things for the kingdom on a regular basis because it is His will for us to love and serve others. Ministry is a result of obedience. It is not a project. It is not a mission.
To make the point even further: if I exercise, I lose weight (another thing on my mind lately :)). The more I do it, the more true that statement will be. Same with Christianity. If I pursue Him, I will gain Him and the less I will look like me. And the more others will see Him.
So I encourage you, and admonish myself, to stop trying so hard to prove something. Just pursue Him wholeheartedly and let God handle the results.
"Don't seek a ministry, seek God. As you seek God, before the foundation of the world, God chose you in Christ (Eph 1:3). You are His workmanship (Eph 2:10), in Christ Jesus unto good works that God has ordained for you to walk in. So discovering my ministry should not be the goal of my life -- but discovering my God should"
As I am learning what my life should look like from His perspective, I find myself searching how to worship Him with things I do. I keep trying to choose behaviors that prove my loyalty. I think, "How much more can I do with my students?" or "How much more can I do in the church to show my allegiance to Him?" I want God to see me worshipping Him as I do and do and do.
But what Kay's comment makes me realize is that God wants my allegiance, period. He wants me to search Him, to pursue Him, to become like Him. Wouldn't that be the ultimate way of worshipping Him.....to be like Him?
I think God has "a ministry" planned for every believer. But, I think it happens as a result of pursuing Him. It will happen naturally as we are molded in His likeness. Jesus just lived who He was and it served a world. But He didn't come to start a ministry or to accomplish certain deeds. He just came and lived as the Son of God. His accomplishments were a result of who He was and is, not what He did. I'm NOT saying the cross was in vain. I'm saying He went to the cross because of His love for us and His obedience to the Father. The cross was the natural result of the Father's love for us, in order to redeem us. Jesus followed His Father's path, which led Him to the cross, and then to a glorious resurrection. And because of that, we are redeemed!
If I live in obedience to Him, the world around me will be served. I will be accomplishing things for the kingdom on a regular basis because it is His will for us to love and serve others. Ministry is a result of obedience. It is not a project. It is not a mission.
To make the point even further: if I exercise, I lose weight (another thing on my mind lately :)). The more I do it, the more true that statement will be. Same with Christianity. If I pursue Him, I will gain Him and the less I will look like me. And the more others will see Him.
So I encourage you, and admonish myself, to stop trying so hard to prove something. Just pursue Him wholeheartedly and let God handle the results.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Getting out of His way
I just had a fantastic weekend. God was so very good to me. He blessed me in so many ways. It was d*weekend for our youth group. If you know me at all, you know I was head deep in it. I am so glad God has called me to work in this youth group, with these kids and fellow leaders.
The week leading up to the start of the event was trying to my soul. You know the enemy seeks to destroy Christians in their spirit and in their devotion to the Lord. He was working hard on me. Few know this, but Friday around lunch, I was not only wishing the weekend to be over, but I was ready to back out all together. Boy, would I have missed out!
God showed up all over the place and I am still on quite a high! He used my husband and a dear friend to encourage me and to bring me back to His mercy and grace. And when I walked into the venue where it was held, God met me there. He met me right where I needed Him and it changed me.
I spent the weekend with 7 of my dearest friends and I was just as much a student as they were. I think we all, as an entire youth group, were on level playing ground. God had the same message for us all, to live lives of worship.
Our youth pastor let God speak so clearly through him, so transparent. This was true of one of the members of the band as well. There was such genuine love of God displayed that it only made me want to worship Him more. This was the topic of the weekend: Worship.
We are all worshipping something, and we are worshipping all the time. Every decision we make, every behavior we exhibit shows our allegiance to something or someone. For me, it's me. I do so much with myself in mind. It is often subconsciously, but nonetheless it's true. And I can always look back on statements I make and realize how self-centered they were. It is such an automatic for me to serve myself. Oh I wish it was automatic for me to serve Him instead.
That is what He wants for me. "He must increase, I must decrease." John 3:30
I so badly want my whole life to worship Him. It is my new found purpose--to get out of His way!
The week leading up to the start of the event was trying to my soul. You know the enemy seeks to destroy Christians in their spirit and in their devotion to the Lord. He was working hard on me. Few know this, but Friday around lunch, I was not only wishing the weekend to be over, but I was ready to back out all together. Boy, would I have missed out!
God showed up all over the place and I am still on quite a high! He used my husband and a dear friend to encourage me and to bring me back to His mercy and grace. And when I walked into the venue where it was held, God met me there. He met me right where I needed Him and it changed me.
I spent the weekend with 7 of my dearest friends and I was just as much a student as they were. I think we all, as an entire youth group, were on level playing ground. God had the same message for us all, to live lives of worship.
Our youth pastor let God speak so clearly through him, so transparent. This was true of one of the members of the band as well. There was such genuine love of God displayed that it only made me want to worship Him more. This was the topic of the weekend: Worship.
We are all worshipping something, and we are worshipping all the time. Every decision we make, every behavior we exhibit shows our allegiance to something or someone. For me, it's me. I do so much with myself in mind. It is often subconsciously, but nonetheless it's true. And I can always look back on statements I make and realize how self-centered they were. It is such an automatic for me to serve myself. Oh I wish it was automatic for me to serve Him instead.
That is what He wants for me. "He must increase, I must decrease." John 3:30
I so badly want my whole life to worship Him. It is my new found purpose--to get out of His way!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Praises
Good Morning,
We slept all night long!!! It was wonderful. This time, though, I was the one with the crazy dreams that caused me to be restless through the night. But, that's ok because we still slept.
Macie is so much better. I will re-introduce her to the world again today as we go have lunch with our homeschool group that meets every Tuesday. I wasn't ready to send her for the day knowing she would be sitting with germy kiddos. So, we are hanging out at home about to give some schoolwork a try.
She is still having mild headaches. I am praying they subside very soon so she can play without being interrupted by pain. Other than the headaches she is doing really well.
I also have good news about our friend Emily Hallman. They received excellent news last night that the cancer is less severe than originally expected. It is still cancer but a stage one cancer is better than any other stage. We are continuing to pray for healing.
We slept all night long!!! It was wonderful. This time, though, I was the one with the crazy dreams that caused me to be restless through the night. But, that's ok because we still slept.
Macie is so much better. I will re-introduce her to the world again today as we go have lunch with our homeschool group that meets every Tuesday. I wasn't ready to send her for the day knowing she would be sitting with germy kiddos. So, we are hanging out at home about to give some schoolwork a try.
She is still having mild headaches. I am praying they subside very soon so she can play without being interrupted by pain. Other than the headaches she is doing really well.
I also have good news about our friend Emily Hallman. They received excellent news last night that the cancer is less severe than originally expected. It is still cancer but a stage one cancer is better than any other stage. We are continuing to pray for healing.
Monday, March 29, 2010
A Good Morning and a Lot of Gratitude
Hey Friends,
Macie has had a very good morning. She has had a steady mild headache but has still been able to sit up and eat and play cards with Cody. Yesterday she was horizontal 80% of the day.
She has her attitude back too, but I'm so okay with that!
Another night has gone by and still waking up. It's bad dreams, not pain, and I know she will likely continue to have restless sleep this week. I'm praying that God fills her nights with peace. She needs it and we do too.
So many of you have done great things for us over the past 10 days or so. This is the scariest thing we have ever faced with our children. I knew, though, that when I passed along a new discovery in her symptoms, or the scheduling of another test, or a possible diagnosis it was immediately being lifted in prayer.
And then Thursday night, as we were given news that she was sick but would be ok and we would likely go home the next morning, you all rejoiced right with us. And I knew you were truly happy and as relieved as us. It was so genuine.
And it was just as genuine the next morning as we made plans for testing of Leukemia and I could barely stand on my weak legs. Jeff quickly called friends and you all were surrounding us with in an hour. I knew that no matter the result, people would carry us through.
It is something awesome to see God's church kick into action when there is a need. We experienced that so strongly. I now understand how people who face great trials make it through. God is so able to do more than we can hope for. And He uses us, His body, and now that I have been on the receiving side, I know what a marvel it is.
Our struggle was intense but it was short lived. So many others are in deep trenches and need encouragement, they need hope, they need to be carried.
My friend Jamie Hallman is one of those. I mentioned her daughter Emily several days ago. Please continue to pray for her, all of them, family of 5. They are in a very deep trench and my heart aches for this mom.
I know at times it can seem trivial to just say "I'm praying for you". We feel like we have to do something tangible to be effective. Friends, it is not true. Prayer is the most powerful ability we have. So don't stop praying for little Emily, and others who need God's intervention.
Thank you so very much for carrying us through.
Macie has had a very good morning. She has had a steady mild headache but has still been able to sit up and eat and play cards with Cody. Yesterday she was horizontal 80% of the day.
She has her attitude back too, but I'm so okay with that!
Another night has gone by and still waking up. It's bad dreams, not pain, and I know she will likely continue to have restless sleep this week. I'm praying that God fills her nights with peace. She needs it and we do too.
So many of you have done great things for us over the past 10 days or so. This is the scariest thing we have ever faced with our children. I knew, though, that when I passed along a new discovery in her symptoms, or the scheduling of another test, or a possible diagnosis it was immediately being lifted in prayer.
And then Thursday night, as we were given news that she was sick but would be ok and we would likely go home the next morning, you all rejoiced right with us. And I knew you were truly happy and as relieved as us. It was so genuine.
And it was just as genuine the next morning as we made plans for testing of Leukemia and I could barely stand on my weak legs. Jeff quickly called friends and you all were surrounding us with in an hour. I knew that no matter the result, people would carry us through.
It is something awesome to see God's church kick into action when there is a need. We experienced that so strongly. I now understand how people who face great trials make it through. God is so able to do more than we can hope for. And He uses us, His body, and now that I have been on the receiving side, I know what a marvel it is.
Our struggle was intense but it was short lived. So many others are in deep trenches and need encouragement, they need hope, they need to be carried.
My friend Jamie Hallman is one of those. I mentioned her daughter Emily several days ago. Please continue to pray for her, all of them, family of 5. They are in a very deep trench and my heart aches for this mom.
I know at times it can seem trivial to just say "I'm praying for you". We feel like we have to do something tangible to be effective. Friends, it is not true. Prayer is the most powerful ability we have. So don't stop praying for little Emily, and others who need God's intervention.
Thank you so very much for carrying us through.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Not the a great start to the day :(
I can't wait to see Macie well again. Having a sick child is so hard on a mother's heart.
Right now I pray for every parent out there that is caring for a sick child, whether it is a simple cold or monstrous cancer. Anything that takes the joy from a child weighs heavy on the heart and only the Lord can really tend to that. So, I pray that He does for every parent in need of it.
Macie had a decent night last night. We didn't go to bed until about 11 so that we could give her one last dose of Tylenol before settling in for the night. She woke up around 3:30 with bad dreams. (Can't imagine why)
She woke up this morning looking forward to a trip to Cracker Barrel. One of her friends brought her a sock frog from Cracker Barrel and it is the cutest thing. So she wanted to spend the money she has gotten there and plus have a yummy breakfast.
As we were getting ready her head began to hurt. We let her decide if she still wanted to go and she did. We got there, she was obviously aching, but still wanted to at least go into the store. It took about 2 mins and she was done. No toy, no breakfast. We ran through a drive thru in hopes she would eat a biscuit. At this point her head, stomach, and back were hurting. She whimpered and shifted restlessly in her seat the whole way home.
Now she's laying down again and trying to eat. The headaches are coming because of the spinal taps she had. They cause a change in the pressures of the head and when she gets up it is really affected.
The meningitis of course also causes headaches but I think these are from the taps.
I handled everything well in the hospital, until they brought up leukemia. But now that we are home I am really struggling. There isn't much I can do for her and I really want my adventurous healthy MayMay back.
Please don't stop praying for her healing. She isn't in the hospital anymore, but she is still sick and we are still very tired and feeling helpless for her.
We continue to covet your prayers.
Right now I pray for every parent out there that is caring for a sick child, whether it is a simple cold or monstrous cancer. Anything that takes the joy from a child weighs heavy on the heart and only the Lord can really tend to that. So, I pray that He does for every parent in need of it.
Macie had a decent night last night. We didn't go to bed until about 11 so that we could give her one last dose of Tylenol before settling in for the night. She woke up around 3:30 with bad dreams. (Can't imagine why)
She woke up this morning looking forward to a trip to Cracker Barrel. One of her friends brought her a sock frog from Cracker Barrel and it is the cutest thing. So she wanted to spend the money she has gotten there and plus have a yummy breakfast.
As we were getting ready her head began to hurt. We let her decide if she still wanted to go and she did. We got there, she was obviously aching, but still wanted to at least go into the store. It took about 2 mins and she was done. No toy, no breakfast. We ran through a drive thru in hopes she would eat a biscuit. At this point her head, stomach, and back were hurting. She whimpered and shifted restlessly in her seat the whole way home.
Now she's laying down again and trying to eat. The headaches are coming because of the spinal taps she had. They cause a change in the pressures of the head and when she gets up it is really affected.
The meningitis of course also causes headaches but I think these are from the taps.
I handled everything well in the hospital, until they brought up leukemia. But now that we are home I am really struggling. There isn't much I can do for her and I really want my adventurous healthy MayMay back.
Please don't stop praying for her healing. She isn't in the hospital anymore, but she is still sick and we are still very tired and feeling helpless for her.
We continue to covet your prayers.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
What to pray for now..
Macie is doing ok. Her symptoms from the meningites are decreasing. Now she is having to deal with the back aches and headaches. The back aches are from the procedures she had done: 2 spinal taps and bone marrow aspiration. The headaches are from those procedures and/or the meningitis. So, we don't know how long those will come and go. The one she had today was bad and it is really hard for me to see her hurt, especially after such a long and tiring week. So pray for us both. Thank you!
Going Home!!!!!!!!!!!
Pathologist gave us the clear on her spinal fluid. The abnormal cells were infectious but not cancerous. So the final diagnosis is viral meningitis and we couldn't be happier!
We will hopefully be home after lunch!
Thank you for all your prayers!
We will hopefully be home after lunch!
Thank you for all your prayers!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Praise The Lord!!!
Bone Marrow is C.L.E.A.R.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The relief is unexplainable!
We don't have all the results yet regarding the spinal fluid. There are some abnormal cells that are being analyzed and some rare diseases still possible. BUT, leukemia scare is gone, at least 99.9999%.
So we are still anticipating those results but feeling really encouraged.
It is possible that we will be going home tomorrow.
Thank you for continuing to pray!
The relief is unexplainable!
We don't have all the results yet regarding the spinal fluid. There are some abnormal cells that are being analyzed and some rare diseases still possible. BUT, leukemia scare is gone, at least 99.9999%.
So we are still anticipating those results but feeling really encouraged.
It is possible that we will be going home tomorrow.
Thank you for continuing to pray!
more test, more questions
Well, we thought we had a clear diagnosis, but not so much, at least not for sure.
They are seeing some abnormal cells from the csf fluid (spinal fluid).
There are several things that cause certain abnormalities in the fluid....meningitis is one of them. Leukemia is another.
She is having a bone marrow aspiration and a 2nd spinal tap this afternoon to rule out the more serious and scary diagnosis.
We are still hopeful that it is meningitis. Have you ever wanted your child to have meningitis? I do.
Please keep praying for answers and for strength. Thank you. May God be glorified
They are seeing some abnormal cells from the csf fluid (spinal fluid).
There are several things that cause certain abnormalities in the fluid....meningitis is one of them. Leukemia is another.
She is having a bone marrow aspiration and a 2nd spinal tap this afternoon to rule out the more serious and scary diagnosis.
We are still hopeful that it is meningitis. Have you ever wanted your child to have meningitis? I do.
Please keep praying for answers and for strength. Thank you. May God be glorified
Thursday, March 25, 2010
today's events
Oh my gosh! I can't believe we are STILL in the hospital. Jesus!, Set your people free!
Ok, now that I got that out.....
LP didn't happen. Macie caught a glimpse of the setup and then saw the neurologist drawing up some med in a syringe, and then she was done. Even with sedation she was not consolable. It was a hard day with that whole event, hard on a mom's heart.
So it was rescheduled for today at 4pm. She will be in a sedation suite and will never know that anything is happening.
It seems like we will be able to leave tonight, but not promised.
The LP will show if there is increased intracranial pressure. If so she will get meds to treat it. If it is normal, we will leave with a likely diagnosis of post viral neuro involvement. That just means that she had a virus that ended up affecting her neurologically and all will return to normal in time.
Her vision is better today. She has iv fluids going so she is peeing more.
She can't eat until after LP is done so I'm asking for specific prayer that there is a cancellation early in the day and she gets moved up.
Thank you for continuing to pray for us. Those of you that visited MayMay yesterday made her day. It was such a blessing to all of us to see love poured out on her.
Side note: please also be praying for Emily Hallman. She is Macie's age, autistic, and had a tumor removed from her spine this week. She had an MRI this am and hoping to see no more tumor anywhere.
The things that were scary to us are the very things that the Hallman family are actually going through. So please, if you think of Macie, think of Emily too!
Ok, now that I got that out.....
LP didn't happen. Macie caught a glimpse of the setup and then saw the neurologist drawing up some med in a syringe, and then she was done. Even with sedation she was not consolable. It was a hard day with that whole event, hard on a mom's heart.
So it was rescheduled for today at 4pm. She will be in a sedation suite and will never know that anything is happening.
It seems like we will be able to leave tonight, but not promised.
The LP will show if there is increased intracranial pressure. If so she will get meds to treat it. If it is normal, we will leave with a likely diagnosis of post viral neuro involvement. That just means that she had a virus that ended up affecting her neurologically and all will return to normal in time.
Her vision is better today. She has iv fluids going so she is peeing more.
She can't eat until after LP is done so I'm asking for specific prayer that there is a cancellation early in the day and she gets moved up.
Thank you for continuing to pray for us. Those of you that visited MayMay yesterday made her day. It was such a blessing to all of us to see love poured out on her.
Side note: please also be praying for Emily Hallman. She is Macie's age, autistic, and had a tumor removed from her spine this week. She had an MRI this am and hoping to see no more tumor anywhere.
The things that were scary to us are the very things that the Hallman family are actually going through. So please, if you think of Macie, think of Emily too!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
another update
Ok. MRI wasn't very helpful. Stink!
She is having a lumbar puncture in just a few minutes to see if there are problems with intracranial pressure. Still unanswered questions so some frustration on our end.
Pray: obviously, for answers
that she can be still after LP is done. she has to lie flat for 1-2 hours. yuck
that we go home today, still possible
thank you
She is having a lumbar puncture in just a few minutes to see if there are problems with intracranial pressure. Still unanswered questions so some frustration on our end.
Pray: obviously, for answers
that she can be still after LP is done. she has to lie flat for 1-2 hours. yuck
that we go home today, still possible
thank you
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Macie Update
Thank you for the prayers already lifted.
Macie was admitted to the hospital Sunday and we are still there. And we are still testing for different things. The main concern at this point is that her vision is altered and are eye movement is abnormal, but it is slight. She already has had a normal ct scan and is about to go for an MRI any minute now. They are checking for an abnormality with a cranial nerve resulting from the virus she has had in her system the past several weeks. We are hoping that is confirmed because it will be an actual answer and it will get better in time. If not confirmed by MRI she will see neurologist and discuss further testing.
Her stomach is not hurting today (first time in 12 days) and she slept well. We feel like she is turning a corner from that aspect. She is asking for food which she can't have until after MRI is done. This is the first time she has asked for food without being prompted since last Friday. So there are some good things happening for her this morning.
We are praying this is the last test and the last day of being in the hospital.
Oh, we are also waiting for urine culture to come back as first urinalysis was abnormal. Hopefully that won't be something that keeps us hospitalized.
Thanks again for your prayers!
PS. If we stay again tonight, and you are capable of visiting I'm sure she would love to see a friend. :)
Macie was admitted to the hospital Sunday and we are still there. And we are still testing for different things. The main concern at this point is that her vision is altered and are eye movement is abnormal, but it is slight. She already has had a normal ct scan and is about to go for an MRI any minute now. They are checking for an abnormality with a cranial nerve resulting from the virus she has had in her system the past several weeks. We are hoping that is confirmed because it will be an actual answer and it will get better in time. If not confirmed by MRI she will see neurologist and discuss further testing.
Her stomach is not hurting today (first time in 12 days) and she slept well. We feel like she is turning a corner from that aspect. She is asking for food which she can't have until after MRI is done. This is the first time she has asked for food without being prompted since last Friday. So there are some good things happening for her this morning.
We are praying this is the last test and the last day of being in the hospital.
Oh, we are also waiting for urine culture to come back as first urinalysis was abnormal. Hopefully that won't be something that keeps us hospitalized.
Thanks again for your prayers!
PS. If we stay again tonight, and you are capable of visiting I'm sure she would love to see a friend. :)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Pray for Macie
Hi friends,
Macie has been feeling badly for a week and 1/2 now. During last week she had highs and lows, playing at times normally and then stuck by my side with a belly ache at others. This weekend everything worsened and she has been a different child. I'm too tired to put all the details in this post, but please just pray that she recovers quickly. Specifically pray for her appetite. She has not eaten since Friday and that meal did not stay in. She is also complaining of vision changes and we can't quite make sense of it all. I'm praying that she will start to eat and all the oddities of what she's experiencing will dissipate and we'll have our regular Macie back.
Thanks for your prayers.
Macie has been feeling badly for a week and 1/2 now. During last week she had highs and lows, playing at times normally and then stuck by my side with a belly ache at others. This weekend everything worsened and she has been a different child. I'm too tired to put all the details in this post, but please just pray that she recovers quickly. Specifically pray for her appetite. She has not eaten since Friday and that meal did not stay in. She is also complaining of vision changes and we can't quite make sense of it all. I'm praying that she will start to eat and all the oddities of what she's experiencing will dissipate and we'll have our regular Macie back.
Thanks for your prayers.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
It has begun!
Foster Classes.....I can't believe I'm taking foster classes. It is so strange simply because I never imagined this as a part of my life. The first 30 mins of class I kept reminding myself of where I was and why I was there. Again it was strange.
When the shock wore off, I settled in and just started taking all the information into my overloaded head. Wow, it's a lot to think about. I mean you already know that fostering is a big deal and not to be taken lightly, but, wow. It so much more than just having another kid around.
I'm excited, though, anticipating how God is going to use us as a family. That's the thing for me. This something that we all get to serve in. Each one of my family gets the opportunity to minister to others through this process. We all have a role to play and I love that.
When Jeff knew that God was calling him into full time ministry, we knew He was calling our whole family. This is such a tangible expression of us all being a part of that calling.
So, we have 9 weeks to go. That's a lot of paperwork, role playing, and q/a's. But it is an awesome experience.
If you ever been interested in fostering and have questions I would love to try to answer them as we learn new things each week.
When the shock wore off, I settled in and just started taking all the information into my overloaded head. Wow, it's a lot to think about. I mean you already know that fostering is a big deal and not to be taken lightly, but, wow. It so much more than just having another kid around.
I'm excited, though, anticipating how God is going to use us as a family. That's the thing for me. This something that we all get to serve in. Each one of my family gets the opportunity to minister to others through this process. We all have a role to play and I love that.
When Jeff knew that God was calling him into full time ministry, we knew He was calling our whole family. This is such a tangible expression of us all being a part of that calling.
So, we have 9 weeks to go. That's a lot of paperwork, role playing, and q/a's. But it is an awesome experience.
If you ever been interested in fostering and have questions I would love to try to answer them as we learn new things each week.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Prayer Request for a friend
Please lift up my friend to the Lord. Her name is Sherry. Her family has been through a lot of trials over the past couple of years with the most recent being the loss of her father over the holidays. She has just learned that her son has a tumor on his brain. His name is Danny and he is married and has a daughter, with another on the way. The hope is that it is benign.
Sherry is a godly woman and spiritual mentor to me. She trusts heavily in the Lord and His sovereignty. Please pray that God would grant her strength and endurance as she faces another trial.
Also pray, if you will, for Danny's healing and strength for his wife and family.
Thanks friends
Sherry is a godly woman and spiritual mentor to me. She trusts heavily in the Lord and His sovereignty. Please pray that God would grant her strength and endurance as she faces another trial.
Also pray, if you will, for Danny's healing and strength for his wife and family.
Thanks friends
Saturday, February 27, 2010
We Have Entered a New World......
The world of fostering.
I can't believe we are here. So strange to think about.
So far in my life I have had 3 things that are true of me now, that I originally never thought would be so.
1--I NEVER thought I would be a homeschooling mom. Makes me chuckle still, even after 6 years of it.
2--I never thought I would be married to someone in full time ministry. I've always loved everything about church. It has continued to be a major force in my life. But, I didn't ever expect it to be on such a level. For those of you who don't know, my husband worked in the oil industry for 18 years and I was an RN. Now we both have 2 main focuses in our lives: our home (and all that it encompasses) and our church. And I dearly love both!
3--Never in a million years, would I have thought I would be a foster parent. This one surprises me the most.
And it is just so funny to me to look at the road that has brought me here. If you are completely uninterested in this part of my life you should "x out" now. For the rest of you, here's looking back:
During high school and into college, all but one job (out of 3 or4) involved childcare. I was always taking care of other people's children and learned a lot of how to meet the needs of different children. In nursing school I worked with one family providing care for 2 children whose dad didn't live with them and mom worked full time. As a nurse I worked in the well baby nursery and with postpartum moms, often working with foster and adoptive situations. (Even then, never imagined myself as one of those moms involved in such). Also never imagined that God was exposing me to my future.
As a married adult I took care of a friend's newborn, plus my two, so that she could work.
Several years ago Jeff took care of a friend's 3 kids, plus our two, every Sun. night so that we could be with students for Bible Study.
Last year I took in my nephew as an addition to our homeschooling program while he suffered from a medical condition which kept him out of his regular school.
God has used us time and again to provide for children who weren't necessarily "ours". I've never thought much about this aspect of our lives, but now I see it as all pieces of this puzzle unfolding before us.
There are many other ways in which God has set the stage of fostering for us. And I think He will continue to reveal more as time goes by.
I realize that fostering is so much more than babysitting. But God has been teaching us for so long how to love those, who come our way non-traditionally sometimes, as our own. And I can see how he has created Cody and Macie to follow suit. In fact, they are both so much ahead of us in this that they are teaching us a few things.
Yesterday, we as a family, had the incredible opportunity to serve our friends in a very small way. I think the way my kids served them the most was in the way they ministered to their kids.
I have not taught my kids to love others the way they do. I wish I could say differently but then I would miss God's great design. He has put something in them that causes them to love other kids and to have compassion for others. Friends, we may try but you can't teach some things.
I haven't taught Macie to deny herself and to put all her energy into a one year old boy no matter how exhausted she is. Yet, she showed me yesterday that she wanted to serve him no matter what it asked of her. "Macie, can you change his diaper? Macie, can you get that piece of food he dropped? Macie, can you take him into the other room and jump with him on the bed? Macie, do this. Macie, do that. Macie, why is he crying?" And so on and so on. She never complained, never rolled her eyes. This was all while she was trying to eat her own meal. I don't think it's because she is that cooperative. It's because God made her to love other kids selflessly. Why? For such a time as this.
And Cody follows the same pattern. Watch him light up when Sonya catches his eye or Olivia gives him a grin.
I haven't taught Cody to love other cultures and races. He was born to.
They both are true servants and please know I don't say that pridefully. I know I haven't exhibited in my life what I see in theirs.
God was working in them to work on me.
When we started this process, I basically took the stance of "our family won't be able to handle taking in kids like that"; or "can't we just adopt and be done?" But God has been showing me that our family was meant for this.
I'm still scared of this fostering world. I'm still unsure of what's ahead but I know we are doing what we are supposed to be and I can't wait to learn more from my kids as they teach me how to deny myself for the sake of others.
I can't believe we are here. So strange to think about.
So far in my life I have had 3 things that are true of me now, that I originally never thought would be so.
1--I NEVER thought I would be a homeschooling mom. Makes me chuckle still, even after 6 years of it.
2--I never thought I would be married to someone in full time ministry. I've always loved everything about church. It has continued to be a major force in my life. But, I didn't ever expect it to be on such a level. For those of you who don't know, my husband worked in the oil industry for 18 years and I was an RN. Now we both have 2 main focuses in our lives: our home (and all that it encompasses) and our church. And I dearly love both!
3--Never in a million years, would I have thought I would be a foster parent. This one surprises me the most.
And it is just so funny to me to look at the road that has brought me here. If you are completely uninterested in this part of my life you should "x out" now. For the rest of you, here's looking back:
During high school and into college, all but one job (out of 3 or4) involved childcare. I was always taking care of other people's children and learned a lot of how to meet the needs of different children. In nursing school I worked with one family providing care for 2 children whose dad didn't live with them and mom worked full time. As a nurse I worked in the well baby nursery and with postpartum moms, often working with foster and adoptive situations. (Even then, never imagined myself as one of those moms involved in such). Also never imagined that God was exposing me to my future.
As a married adult I took care of a friend's newborn, plus my two, so that she could work.
Several years ago Jeff took care of a friend's 3 kids, plus our two, every Sun. night so that we could be with students for Bible Study.
Last year I took in my nephew as an addition to our homeschooling program while he suffered from a medical condition which kept him out of his regular school.
God has used us time and again to provide for children who weren't necessarily "ours". I've never thought much about this aspect of our lives, but now I see it as all pieces of this puzzle unfolding before us.
There are many other ways in which God has set the stage of fostering for us. And I think He will continue to reveal more as time goes by.
I realize that fostering is so much more than babysitting. But God has been teaching us for so long how to love those, who come our way non-traditionally sometimes, as our own. And I can see how he has created Cody and Macie to follow suit. In fact, they are both so much ahead of us in this that they are teaching us a few things.
Yesterday, we as a family, had the incredible opportunity to serve our friends in a very small way. I think the way my kids served them the most was in the way they ministered to their kids.
I have not taught my kids to love others the way they do. I wish I could say differently but then I would miss God's great design. He has put something in them that causes them to love other kids and to have compassion for others. Friends, we may try but you can't teach some things.
I haven't taught Macie to deny herself and to put all her energy into a one year old boy no matter how exhausted she is. Yet, she showed me yesterday that she wanted to serve him no matter what it asked of her. "Macie, can you change his diaper? Macie, can you get that piece of food he dropped? Macie, can you take him into the other room and jump with him on the bed? Macie, do this. Macie, do that. Macie, why is he crying?" And so on and so on. She never complained, never rolled her eyes. This was all while she was trying to eat her own meal. I don't think it's because she is that cooperative. It's because God made her to love other kids selflessly. Why? For such a time as this.
And Cody follows the same pattern. Watch him light up when Sonya catches his eye or Olivia gives him a grin.
I haven't taught Cody to love other cultures and races. He was born to.
They both are true servants and please know I don't say that pridefully. I know I haven't exhibited in my life what I see in theirs.
God was working in them to work on me.
When we started this process, I basically took the stance of "our family won't be able to handle taking in kids like that"; or "can't we just adopt and be done?" But God has been showing me that our family was meant for this.
I'm still scared of this fostering world. I'm still unsure of what's ahead but I know we are doing what we are supposed to be and I can't wait to learn more from my kids as they teach me how to deny myself for the sake of others.
I know it is likely that you have read or heard this passage of scripture before. Please read it again. God is reminding me of it's truth and He is expecting me to serve Him by serving others. He is expecting us all to do so.
"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.' Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you , or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?' And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Taking a "side trip"
We are getting closer to being at that place where we are comfortable with jumping in to adoption. We have 2 debts that we want to pay off first. One is almost gone!! Praise the Lord!
The other is a little more daunting then the first, but God has a history of proven faithfulness. He has called us to increase our family and provide for those who are in need. I know that, because it is His direction, He will clear the path that we may walk it in obedience.
As for the adoption itself, we were at the place of finally figuring out that it should be domestic and we were feeling much more settled with fundraising attempts. However, no matter how much I fight the pull towards fostering, God just will not leave me alone about it. Jeff has always been completely fine with the idea of being a foster family. Me....not at all.
I see fostering as a revolving door type of home. I don't want that. Just being honest here. I want to be a forever home for a child who may never know what a home is like apart from me. I want a child in need of a father to meet my husband, who is phenomenal as a husband and a dad. I want a child who needs a brother and sister to know my Macie and my Cody, who will love and accept him or her as their own.
We all have so much love for this child that we have never met. And the thought of meeting this child for a possible temporary relationship is so hard to imagine.
But then God says, "is this for you or for the child?"
And I have to take a hard look at my motives.
I pray that if God truly leads us to foster that He would allow it to be a situation that leads to adoption. Oh how I pray that.
So with all that said, we will be taking the fostering classes this spring before we move forward in any other ways. Hopefully at the end or even before, we will have a clear picture of God's desire for us.
Side note: Please notice the dresses I have for sale. These profits will help us to continue to move forward with whatever adventure we are headed for.
The other is a little more daunting then the first, but God has a history of proven faithfulness. He has called us to increase our family and provide for those who are in need. I know that, because it is His direction, He will clear the path that we may walk it in obedience.
As for the adoption itself, we were at the place of finally figuring out that it should be domestic and we were feeling much more settled with fundraising attempts. However, no matter how much I fight the pull towards fostering, God just will not leave me alone about it. Jeff has always been completely fine with the idea of being a foster family. Me....not at all.
I see fostering as a revolving door type of home. I don't want that. Just being honest here. I want to be a forever home for a child who may never know what a home is like apart from me. I want a child in need of a father to meet my husband, who is phenomenal as a husband and a dad. I want a child who needs a brother and sister to know my Macie and my Cody, who will love and accept him or her as their own.
We all have so much love for this child that we have never met. And the thought of meeting this child for a possible temporary relationship is so hard to imagine.
But then God says, "is this for you or for the child?"
And I have to take a hard look at my motives.
I pray that if God truly leads us to foster that He would allow it to be a situation that leads to adoption. Oh how I pray that.
So with all that said, we will be taking the fostering classes this spring before we move forward in any other ways. Hopefully at the end or even before, we will have a clear picture of God's desire for us.
Side note: Please notice the dresses I have for sale. These profits will help us to continue to move forward with whatever adventure we are headed for.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
What's Ahead in 2010?
2009 was filled with trials. God allowed some difficult things to happen, not only in my immediate family but my extended family as well. It has been a year of sincere dependence on Him, and some much needed growth in our lives. We have all been stretched beyond our comfort zones and I give thanks for His work in us.
And apparently He still desires to stretch us more......He has put the desire in our hearts to grow our family. I have posted on this before as we began to discuss it, actually about 2 years ago. I don't think I posted much on it until around the spring of last year when we began to talk with more commitment in our hearts.
Several years ago, 7 years to be exact, we decided that 2 was enough. Our family was very comfortable. We had the blessing of having a boy and a girl and they were a great difference in ages. We were content and saw no need to let "fate" control our situation. By-the-way, I don't believe anything in life is controlled by some kind of fate, but only by the complete sovereignty of God, Creator. So how I thought a small surgery would keep Him from completing His plan for me is so ridiculous. And I actually began to pray that God would bypass any thing we had done to prevent pregnancy. He didn't choose to. So what then?
And apparently He still desires to stretch us more......He has put the desire in our hearts to grow our family. I have posted on this before as we began to discuss it, actually about 2 years ago. I don't think I posted much on it until around the spring of last year when we began to talk with more commitment in our hearts.
Several years ago, 7 years to be exact, we decided that 2 was enough. Our family was very comfortable. We had the blessing of having a boy and a girl and they were a great difference in ages. We were content and saw no need to let "fate" control our situation. By-the-way, I don't believe anything in life is controlled by some kind of fate, but only by the complete sovereignty of God, Creator. So how I thought a small surgery would keep Him from completing His plan for me is so ridiculous. And I actually began to pray that God would bypass any thing we had done to prevent pregnancy. He didn't choose to. So what then?
I knew our family wasn't done and Jeff agreed. We didn't really know what that meant though, adoption or fostering. We have been working through this decision for almost a year and we have had many stages to go through. We had a time of being still, and of waiting for God. We have had a time of research and anticipation. It has all culminated to a clear direction from Him that it is time.
And so.....we are in the very early stages of beginning an adoption. We are looking at a domestic private adoption. We have a specific financial goal we are trying to meet before we enter into a contract to begin the actual process of adoption. If you want to know 'why domestic' look back at my post in Aug. where I describe the lessons I learned in Romania. Also, God said so :).
Please pray for us as we are anxious to get this adventure started but know there are things to take care of first.
By the way, God may have said no to bypassing our mistake, but He has made clear why: a child exist or will exist that will not have what he/she needs unless someone says "we have room for you". That is the heart of our family; we have room.
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