2 lunches, only one home

Have you seen those men, and sometimes women, who stand on a street corner with a sign declaring homelessness? I passed one yesterday.

Let me back up a bit.

Ever since Jeff and I were married the idea of people living on the streets with no shelter to call their own has been a burden to me. Many nights in the winter I fall asleep thinking of all those who are sleeping in bitter cold weather as I lay under my heating blanket on a soft mattress in my safe bedroom. And it has always unsettled me. I've wondered why God has allowed me to have my needs met in abundance while others are suffering greatly in ways I've never known or come close to knowing. I've thought about how so many Americans have all they need plus more than they need while other Americans have nothing but a sign declaring so. How can this be?

As my regular readers know, God has been teaching me much on the topic of those in need. He has been teaching me so much that I'm overwhelmed not knowing what to do with the information. My heart is changing, being changed by Him almost constantly, but I feel lost in the translation.

We have started to make practical changes in our finances so that we can do for others. This has not been easy since we do not have a surplus of finances. And it is very small steps as we ourselves work towards a debt free life. But so much is going on in my heart that a few financial changes only taps the surface of burdens I am feeling over those in need. So I'm asking God to open doors and to show me how to put into action the convictions He has given me.

Yesterday was one such opportunity.

It has been a rough week in the context of parenting. Our family has struggled for some months now with disobedience and anger. We have been in quite a slump. God has been working overtime in the Hudler home :). So yesterday as some things sorta came to a head my amazing husband decided it was time for me to have a small break.

I needed a journal type of book to help organize my prayer life and to be more diligent with memorizing scripture. This is one thing God has been showing me concerning the way things are done in my home. So off to Lifeway I went. Now, truly I could have made one myself, or just jumped over to Walmart which would have knocked an hour off the time. But, no, I had to go to Lifeway. Well guess who was on the corner at the light leading to Lifeway? Mr. Homeless.

I didn't see him at first. I was hungry for lunch but not ready to eat yet so I decided to go into store and get lunch afterwards. I didn't find what I was looking for except a basic journaling book (one which I could have gotten at Walmart). So, with plans to head to office store I decided to grab lunch first. And there he was at the light. NO doubt in my mind I was to buy two lunches that day.

I rolled down the window, and said a few things. "I got you something to eat and I want you to know that God loves you and He has not forgotten about you", I said. The man's face lit with joy. I drove off so broken I had to stop because I couldn't see to drive. Why was I broken? I mean I was able to feed the man. God had given me an opportunity to put into action what has been on my heart begging to come out as reality. I was broken because I couldn't do more. He may have had a full belly for lunch but he still had nowhere to lay his hand. He would still spend the day under a tree at a stoplight with a sign while I shopped, headed home to ac, a well cut yard, kids playing in the water with friends, and food for dinner. I would sit at the table and play rummikub with my family. I would take pics of my growing garden to send to my grandparents in pride. I would rock on my back porch, Bible in hand, and the peace of God in my heart. And he still stood on the corner.

Something has got to change. I can't force others to have the same convictions as I. I can't make you turn off your tvs and send that money overseas so nationals can buy themselves a bike to travel miles into villages to proclaim Christ. I can't force you to shop at Aldi's to practically cut your grocery bill in half so you can send that extra money to organizations attempting to purify water so people can drink without fear of dying.

I can't persuade you to live any differently than you do now. But I can change. And I plan to.