My last post announced the arrival of a little girl. She stayed with us for 8 weeks and then moved to a different home to be with family. She was a cute little thing but we all agree that was a tough placement. Lets just say no sleep and quite a bit of crying. She left at the beginning of April.
Well, the beginning of May brought us another joy, baby girl L. She is the most beautiful little baby girl I've ever seen, next to my own of course :). We are enjoying her thoroughly and growing attached to her in much of the same ways that we have to our little guy who has now been with us for 10 months.
We recently found out that he will be returning home to his birth family and though we are happy that he will be reunited with his God-given parents, it would be a lie to say our hearts aren't breaking.
Throughout our fostering experience people have often commented to us that they don't know how they could foster and then give a child back. My response has always been that I felt like God would equip us to do whatever He asked of us. Honestly I never thought He would ask it of us concerning this little guy. Our hearts are wrapped up in him, why would it be like that if the plan was for him to leave? But that is the plan.
So we are in the preparing stages. And God is good. God is faithful. He does everything He says for those who obey Him. He is carrying us and will prove His steadfastness when we are weak and empty. The ache has begun and I can already sense the intensity of the ensuing heartache as the child I have known as my son moves in with another and I can do nothing but give him back with a smile on my face and a congratulations off my tongue. It will hurt. It does hurt and yes, it is hard. And that's why we need God so desperately.
It's such a sweet place to be, I admit, to need God so strongly. You know when you hurt so much that all you can do is rest in the one person who can help you and that fact is what soothes you and gives you peace. God is so sweet to me right now. So real. I can only imagine what He is like for those who are going through "real" tragedies, sudden, unexpected and life changing events.
You see, God has shown us much mercy in this. Even this weekend I heard of a foster family who had a foster son for a year and court suddenly decided he could go home. That family had no time to tell him goodbye, for in a day he was gone. Yet, God has allowed us to gradually prepare and continue to treasure every moment with our little guy as this transition approaches. I'm so very grateful especially for Cody and Macie who love him so dearly. Cody is still holding on to a hope that things will change and little guy will be with us forever. Only God knows, but He is fully trustworthy in everything. Everything.
I hope we all truly grasp that.
