What's it Like to be a Foster Parent?

Depends on what day you ask.....

Most days I have no idea what it's like to be a foster parent.  I wake up to the sounds of my sweet 8 month old cooing, shuffling in his crib.  He starts by scratching the sheet with his nails that I need to trim.  He gabs a bit about his plans for the day.  He plays with the blinds through the slats in his crib. Eventually he gets bored and starts the fuss that draws me or his dad into the room.  Occasionally his brother or "sissy", as she loves to be called, gets first grabs at his fresh cuteness and our day with him begins. 

He plays in his jumper, one of his favorite activities, or sits in his exersaucer and watches us dance together as we get energized for our day.  We all have breakfast, big kids get dressed and do their chores, and he plays for awhile in the floor with his favorite toy--the hippo that throws balls into the air.  He gets sleepy and the argument ensues: who gets to put him down and then who will get to get him up when his nap is done.  The favorite thing is getting him up.  They love walking into his room when he's just waking up.  He always grins really big at the first person he sees and is so sweet just after his nap.  Cody and Macie have gotten in the habit of asking first thing in the morning if they can be the one to get him up after his nap.  So sweet.  He has at least 2 naps a day so this discussion happens often.

He has lived with us for 5 mos.  They are still in the honeymoon phase.

The pattern I described above continues throughout the day.  When he's not napping he's sitting with us at the table as we work through school.  If we are all in the den watching tv, there he is in the midst of us.  I'm his mom.  Jeff's his dad.  Cody's his brother.  Macie's his sissy.  We aren't his foster family.

Then there's those days. Visitation days.  Court days.  DSS appointment days.  Days we are all reminded that he belongs to someone else and that one day he may no longer sleep in that crib and play with those blinds.  That's when I'm reminded what its like to be a foster parent.

There's not much great to being a foster parent.  But there's a whole lot of great to loving a child in the gap that someone has left.  This chunky little 8 month old has gaps in his life he shouldn't have and God is allowing us to fill them.  And this little 8 month old is filling gaps we have, and God is allowing that for this time period. 

I don't know how long God will continue to allow these things.  I hope for our lifetimes.  We aren't his foster family.  We don't want to be known as his foster family.  We are his family as much as a family can be.  We long for that to be true in every sense that it can be.  And so we just continue to be his.

A Smack in the Face, One I'm Thankful for

I've recently finished reading Kisses from Katie, the book, not the blog, but you should check them both out! Today I'm going to comment on a statement from her book and my next post will be on a comment from her last post which you can read by clinking on link.

Katie is one of those who figured it out before any time was wasted.  God spoke to heart and she wasn't too busy, too self centered, or too focused on worldly things to miss it.  And now at 22 years old she's right in midst of His work, His miracles, His glory.  I can't help but envy it.

Don't get me wrong.  God's work, God's miracles, and God's glory is all around me.  But I have to work super hard to not miss it.  I have to fight my way through America's overindulgence which I have let overcome me for far too long to make sure I see it and that I participate in it.  It's hard to give Him my full attention.  Reading her experiences reminded me of this. 

But, that's not what this post is about.  :)

Her rich, confronting statement was this:  "Christ incarnated in the parent is the only hope of incarnating Christ in a child."           

Whoa.

There's so much wisdom in those words.  She made the statement in the context of  loving girls who have never known love, don't know how to accept love, and don't know how to trust.  I think it rings true when you are trying to love anyone who doesn't understand your authority or how to submit and trust.

If my kids can't see Christ in me why would I expect them to respond like Christ?  Its so easy to show Christ when I'm content, when I have my students over, when I'm involved in some church activity, etc.  But what about when they tick me off, when they push that last button, when they clearly have no respect for who I am in their lives and they forget all I have done for them, all I've given up for them, all I've suffered for their good.

Hmmmm, sounds so familiar doesn't it?  Like a little bit of the story of Christ?  How quick I am to forget all He's done, all He's given up for me, all He has suffered for my good, yet His love is steadfast.  His forgiveness, grace and mercy is inexhaustible. 

I get her statement.  Christ incarnated in me is the only hope of incarnating Christ in my children.  I need this reminder moment by moment.  I'm grateful God confronted me with it.