It's on it's way....Let's make it count!

Psalm 16:5-6 The Lord is the portion of my inheritance and my cup; You support my lot. The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me.

Okay, I know we haven't gotten to Thanksgiving yet, but I can't help but already be in the Christmas mindset. I love Christmas. The more I get to know God and grow in my Christian faith, the more I love Christmas. I love what it does to people. For a short time it brings goodness where it's lacking, generosity where there is greed, kindness where there is hostility, patience where there is intolerance, love where there is hate. Christmas is such a testament to the One it celebrates. It makes my heart want to be more and more lined up with His as I am reminded what my life should be like. It truly is a shame that these attitudes and Christlike behaviors are only glorified for a season, and not a lifetime. I speak about myself. I wish I could be in that "celebratory attitude" of Christ ALL the time.

I don't think I realized how important Christmas is to me and my faith until I heard a very unexpected comment out of someone yesterday. Wish list were the topic of choice and I made a comment about not destroying catalogues with markings. Well the comment I made led to this response, "then Christmas is useless". Even typing that to tell this story makes my heart sad again.

Once it was said it felt as if everything I believed, my entire conviction on who Jesus is, was mocked and trampled upon. It hurt my heart so intensely that I had to call my mom and weep until the hurt had eased.

The person who said it meant no harm at all. He/she let a knee jerk response come out without really thinking about the words first. And the maturity level would not have allowed better discernment. But, in thinking about this event over the past 24 hours, it has opened my eyes to an important lesson.

Our culture does not honor the King as He deserves. It's not just the Santa issue, or greediness, or even selfishness. It's complacency.

As Christians, young or old, our lives should celebrate Him EVERY DAY we have the breath to do so. We should not have to be reminded by a calendar, a toy catalogue, a holiday gathering, or a wish list. He is not just goodness "12 days" out of the year. He is the Savior of the world, He is my Hope.

If none of us ever receive another gift as long as we live, if we never see a decorated tree, or hear sleigh bells ring, and if we never have another chance to make a wish list......let us be reminded, oh God, that You have given us your all. You are our inheritance, our portion, and our revelation. May we never forget all that we have in You and may we celebrate with our lives giving thanks in all things to the One who redeems.

Lamentations 3:24 "The Lord is my portion", says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."

Lock-Ins, Discipleship, and New Discoveries

I have had such a blessed weekend. Nine girls just left my home after spending 2 hours listening to me give advice to them about remaining pure. I had 2 hours to share with them some of God's expectations for them and the help He has provided. I don't know if you can imagine the joy it is to be around young girls who actually listen, who actually ask for advice, and who actually may live according to that advice. I am so blessed.

I'm talking about my discipleship group. Last year, our quaint group consisted of 4 girls plus myself. I grew to love them so very much. They are my other children. My life is so enhanced by my relationship with each of them. And now we have 9! The "originals" thought it was going to be quite a challenge to open our group to newcomers, but for me it has been such blessing. They are all sharing, confirming one another, building each other up as I sit and watch, and listen, feeling so privileged to be a part of it. Oh how thankful I am to the Lord for my girls!

And the night before last, I spent the entire night with these same girls and about 20 or so other youth at a lock-in. Besides being up until 4am and then laying on a concrete floor covered with thin carpet for the next 4 hours, it too was an amazing night.

One huge blessing was my daughter Macie, who is 8 years old and up for ANY challenge. She was so much fun! She participated in everything with everyone all the way up til bedtime, which was 3am. She was full speed ahead and she was lovin' it. We talked last night before bed about how much fun we had doing it together and the memories we made. I love that I serve a church that ministers to my whole family and allows us to serve as a whole unit. My husband and son were there as well but couldn't stay the night because of illness. (Sorry Codyman!)

The discovery that I made was how much I love young girls. At one point in the night, around 3:30 am, I was sitting on the floor and began to notice the pile of young girls circled around me in balls sound asleep, 2 of which had their heads in my lap. There were 3 grades represented among those girls and I adore all of them.

In the past 5 months or so, God has woven together relationships in my life, and I'm not really sure how it has happen, but I am so grateful for it! They have sorta just happened and I am realizing that God has a plan here. (Because I don't believe anything just happens) I'm seeing that girls really need someone to rely on, someone to trust, someone to love them unconditionally. I'm not always reliable, and I mess up sometimes, um, a lot of times, but I do love them unconditionally.

I'm discovering that I want more of this. I want more girls to love on, to encourage, to tell the truth to. I want a bigger audience to hear what God is teaching me. I believe He is creating these relationships in my life to give me more opportunities to share who He is and how He loves them like nobody on earth ever could.

So, I'm praying for direction. I'm praying that God will equip me to point them all to Him. I'm praying He will grow my boundaries and dissolve my limitations and use me in the lives of the girls of our youth group. And I'm praying that I not fail to be obedient to Him.

He is It

First I want to encourage my readers to check out the blog listed as 'the journey' in my blog list.

As I read the latest entry I was forced to tears as I realize how badly I want you all to know Him. Everyday I make a choice between selfish desires and holy living. Why? Why do I even consider this matter? Why is there a choice? How and why does it resonate in me? Is it possible to just live for nothing at all? To just live?

So many people, so many of you are living day in and day out for nothing but the next day. Forgive my bluntness, but I believe God wants us all to know that He is it. He is why we exist. He is how we exist.

If there is ever a time when things seem pointless, or when all motivation for any good is gone then I believe it is because we have lost sight of Him. This world is in desperate need. Individuals are in desperate need. I am in desperate need. Need of hope. Need of endurance. Need of peace. Nothing I ever do gives me these things in a sustaining manner. I can not produce these things on my own. It's because it is not about me. It is He. He is It.

1 Peter 2:5 says that we (those who have surrendered their lives to Christ), "as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood".

This is God's will for me: that He live in me and through me and that I live a holy life. Then my holy life fills another gap in a holy priesthood.

As a believer, the Bible says that God's Spirit lives in me. That is where holiness comes. That is why I am faced with those choices everyday. Every moment. It's me or Him. When I make choices for Him, in obedience to Him, He responds with endurance, hope, and peace. When I choose Him, I see God in action off the tips of my fingers. I hear God from the tip of my tongue.
When I get out of His way, He shows me His way.

It is then that I am not exhausted. It is then that I am not hopeless. It is then that I'm not bound by sin. It is then that this world is around me but not on top of me.

When I live as unto Him, I don't have to live at all. I don't have to meet anyone's standard. I don't have to answer anyone's expectation. I just get out of His way and He goes to work. My life is in vain if it is only lived for myself. And I can't do enough for anyone else without Him.

I believe if we all understood what He wants to do with us, why He made us, this world would be a better place. There wouldn't be millions of orphans around the world waiting for someone just to touch them once. There wouldn't be millions of dollars spent on entertainment why millions of people die from water that's not fit to drink.

And you wouldn't be hurting like you are, whoever you are. You wouldn't be searching for direction, answers, and hope.

You wouldn't be asking how to fix all your regrets. I wouldn't be grieved by mine.

God created us for holiness. So, I find myself having to choose, moment by moment even, to follow His way.

Lord forgive me when I choose me. Help me choose You. Help us all choose You.

Getting Uncomfortable

Yea, it was time to make a change. Fall is approaching and it is my favorite time of year so I wanted my blog to reflect a little more of me. I love the fall because of the cool temperatures, football, camp outs, snuggling under blankets, settling in early in the evenings. Its just a great time of year and its almost here!

We are heavy into school now, working on more topics than we ever have before. I realized more and more what a privilege it is to show my kids how everything goes back to the Creator. All learning is motivated by knowing Him, understanding Him, and then making Him known to others. The more we learn together as a family of homeschoolers the more we understand Him and there is truly nothing greater. I'm so thankful that Christ has made it possible to personally know God. I hope that everyone who reads this has surrendered to the sacrifice and redemption that Christ became, that you too may personally know God.

The more I get to know Him the more I want to teach about Him. This is why I love my other students so much. I'm referring to what I call my "spiritual kids". My 8th graders is their official title. It's the same ones who were previously called my 7th graders. And even before that they were known as my 6th graders. Yea, they can't get away from me! I keep moving up with them because I can't imagine being anyone else's Sunday School teacher. Every week they give me the opportunity to teach them what God is teaching me.

We are now working through a study called "Get Uncomfortable". It really did make me uncomfortable this week as I prepared. There is so much injustice in the world. There is so much suffering all around while I sit comfortably at my nice computer with a snack beside me and my kids playing outside in my lovely yard. Anything I need is within arm's stretch basically while there are dying people of all ages all over the world. Should I feel bad that I have things that other's don't? NO. I know that "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father" James 1:17. So, why would this study make me uncomfortable?

It's because as my eyes begin to see, my heart begins to hurt. It is uncomfortable because God suffers with those who suffer. That is what it means to call Him compassionate. And He lives within me. As He brings me to an understanding of the oppression, injustices, and poverty of this fallen world it causes my heart to break.

Psalm 19:8 teaches that as believers follow God's precepts He enlightens their eyes.
This means we become of aware of what He sees.

Matt. 13:15 and Is. 6:9-10 teaches us that healing can not occur in people until our eyes are opened.

Nothing is gonna make a difference until we all open our eyes and allow our hearts to be captured by what it sees. Then if God resides in us we will be moved to compassion. It won't be the compassion that only exists in an emotion. It will be that of Christ which caused Him to action. It will cause us to move on someone else's behalf. It will cause us to get uncomfortable.

Please pray for my SS class as I challenge them to get uncomfortable and to act out their faith. And pray for me as I try to lead by example. May God be able to freely work through us all and that we have willing hearts to live out His calling.

Romania and such

Hello! So sorry for the delay of this Romania report. Had to get some other things out of the way before sitting to blog. We started school last week and it has kept me quite busy.

Romania was fantastic! First of all, the flights were very easy for me considering I'm usually a nervous wreck on planes. I actually was not nervous on any of the 5 total flights. Also, we had NO problems with luggage or customs or passports. The traveling experience was easy and non stressful. I was so thankful for that.

Also, I only had 2 moments of real homesickness. Only 2 out of 10 days! And one of them was when I called home in the middle of the week (something I didn't expect to be able to do) to talk to Jeff and the kids. It was about 6:55 am American time. Jeff answered the phone out of his sleep and of course didn't recognize my voice being he was asleep and the call was very unexpected. When he answered I quickly explained that it was me, that I only had a couple of mins. to talk, and to hurry up and get the kids out of bed. This was his response: ".......(silence).....uh....they aren't here. They spent the night out last night."
Once I picked myself up off the floor and put the phone to my ear again I was fine. I then had a lovely conversation with my husband which then carried me the rest of the day until that evening when I called again to hear all their voices! After that day I was good until Sunday, which was when I came home. That was a great day!

Being in Romania gave me some great opportunities that I am so thankful for. Being in a different culture, speaking a different language, and living a different routine is quite eye opening. Getting to experience someone else's lifestyle will definitely change the way you see your own.

I was able to participate in teaching the older Romanians how to lead devotions during our worship times. This is very hard for them, a very uncomfortable thing for them to do. Their leadership is not supported especially in spiritual matters. But, when each of them got up to lead their assigned devotion, they blow us away. They are so spiritually mature in spite of the lack of support for their faith. They are so well spoken and bold. They were an inspiration to me.

I believe there were 9 decisions for Christ. That is wonderful but the thing that blessed me the most was seeing the growth in the ones who had made decisions in the past. Watching them flourish right before my eyes, amazing. It is what I hope to see the kids at my own church do, the ones in my own country.

That was the biggest revelation for me: what needs to happen in my own country, with my own people. It has challenged me to make a difference in the world directly around me.

I'm starting to make some changes with my ss class first. We have studied a lot about living like Jesus but I have done little to nothing to actually provide them with opportunities to live out their faith. I hope to be blogging about their acts of service periodically through this school year.

I hope to impact them the way I have been impacted. May no lessons that God ever teaches me be in vain!

PS. Thank you for your prayers during the trip. I know they were effective!