Lock-Ins, Discipleship, and New Discoveries

I have had such a blessed weekend. Nine girls just left my home after spending 2 hours listening to me give advice to them about remaining pure. I had 2 hours to share with them some of God's expectations for them and the help He has provided. I don't know if you can imagine the joy it is to be around young girls who actually listen, who actually ask for advice, and who actually may live according to that advice. I am so blessed.

I'm talking about my discipleship group. Last year, our quaint group consisted of 4 girls plus myself. I grew to love them so very much. They are my other children. My life is so enhanced by my relationship with each of them. And now we have 9! The "originals" thought it was going to be quite a challenge to open our group to newcomers, but for me it has been such blessing. They are all sharing, confirming one another, building each other up as I sit and watch, and listen, feeling so privileged to be a part of it. Oh how thankful I am to the Lord for my girls!

And the night before last, I spent the entire night with these same girls and about 20 or so other youth at a lock-in. Besides being up until 4am and then laying on a concrete floor covered with thin carpet for the next 4 hours, it too was an amazing night.

One huge blessing was my daughter Macie, who is 8 years old and up for ANY challenge. She was so much fun! She participated in everything with everyone all the way up til bedtime, which was 3am. She was full speed ahead and she was lovin' it. We talked last night before bed about how much fun we had doing it together and the memories we made. I love that I serve a church that ministers to my whole family and allows us to serve as a whole unit. My husband and son were there as well but couldn't stay the night because of illness. (Sorry Codyman!)

The discovery that I made was how much I love young girls. At one point in the night, around 3:30 am, I was sitting on the floor and began to notice the pile of young girls circled around me in balls sound asleep, 2 of which had their heads in my lap. There were 3 grades represented among those girls and I adore all of them.

In the past 5 months or so, God has woven together relationships in my life, and I'm not really sure how it has happen, but I am so grateful for it! They have sorta just happened and I am realizing that God has a plan here. (Because I don't believe anything just happens) I'm seeing that girls really need someone to rely on, someone to trust, someone to love them unconditionally. I'm not always reliable, and I mess up sometimes, um, a lot of times, but I do love them unconditionally.

I'm discovering that I want more of this. I want more girls to love on, to encourage, to tell the truth to. I want a bigger audience to hear what God is teaching me. I believe He is creating these relationships in my life to give me more opportunities to share who He is and how He loves them like nobody on earth ever could.

So, I'm praying for direction. I'm praying that God will equip me to point them all to Him. I'm praying He will grow my boundaries and dissolve my limitations and use me in the lives of the girls of our youth group. And I'm praying that I not fail to be obedient to Him.

He is It

First I want to encourage my readers to check out the blog listed as 'the journey' in my blog list.

As I read the latest entry I was forced to tears as I realize how badly I want you all to know Him. Everyday I make a choice between selfish desires and holy living. Why? Why do I even consider this matter? Why is there a choice? How and why does it resonate in me? Is it possible to just live for nothing at all? To just live?

So many people, so many of you are living day in and day out for nothing but the next day. Forgive my bluntness, but I believe God wants us all to know that He is it. He is why we exist. He is how we exist.

If there is ever a time when things seem pointless, or when all motivation for any good is gone then I believe it is because we have lost sight of Him. This world is in desperate need. Individuals are in desperate need. I am in desperate need. Need of hope. Need of endurance. Need of peace. Nothing I ever do gives me these things in a sustaining manner. I can not produce these things on my own. It's because it is not about me. It is He. He is It.

1 Peter 2:5 says that we (those who have surrendered their lives to Christ), "as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood".

This is God's will for me: that He live in me and through me and that I live a holy life. Then my holy life fills another gap in a holy priesthood.

As a believer, the Bible says that God's Spirit lives in me. That is where holiness comes. That is why I am faced with those choices everyday. Every moment. It's me or Him. When I make choices for Him, in obedience to Him, He responds with endurance, hope, and peace. When I choose Him, I see God in action off the tips of my fingers. I hear God from the tip of my tongue.
When I get out of His way, He shows me His way.

It is then that I am not exhausted. It is then that I am not hopeless. It is then that I'm not bound by sin. It is then that this world is around me but not on top of me.

When I live as unto Him, I don't have to live at all. I don't have to meet anyone's standard. I don't have to answer anyone's expectation. I just get out of His way and He goes to work. My life is in vain if it is only lived for myself. And I can't do enough for anyone else without Him.

I believe if we all understood what He wants to do with us, why He made us, this world would be a better place. There wouldn't be millions of orphans around the world waiting for someone just to touch them once. There wouldn't be millions of dollars spent on entertainment why millions of people die from water that's not fit to drink.

And you wouldn't be hurting like you are, whoever you are. You wouldn't be searching for direction, answers, and hope.

You wouldn't be asking how to fix all your regrets. I wouldn't be grieved by mine.

God created us for holiness. So, I find myself having to choose, moment by moment even, to follow His way.

Lord forgive me when I choose me. Help me choose You. Help us all choose You.